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Question
Posted by: college | 2007/04/02

How to hate my friends

I am seventeen years old and in my last year of highschool. I have a group of friends that I have been very close with for about 8 years. We used to be best friends and for the longest time I felt on their level and like they were respectable and trustworthy. But in the past 2 years I've noticed that they've become complete assholes. I've told them many times that I think they are really obnoxious and egostistical and inconsiderate, but they just like to play off of my anger. I want to be able to ditch them, but I've been friends with them for too long, and I'm in a band with two of them. I no longer feel confident enough to express my anger at them because all they do is make me feel like a loser for getting angry. I only have 2.5 more months that I really have to be with them, and I dont know if I should take advantage of that fact and cut myself off from them or if I should just deal with it for the few months I have left and then just stop talking to them when I get to college. Please help me!! I dont know how to handle this! How do I deal with these people that I love and hate at the same time

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert

Although you feel angry with your friends and it sounds as if you are growing apart from some of them, it would be a shame if you threw away friendships of 8 years all in one go. You may well regret this later as you look back at your last year of school and over the next few months you may find yourself feeling isolated and miserable because you have cut ties, and this wil certainly not help you focus on those looming matric exams!

What I wiould suggest is that although at times your friends may irritate you that you look for the good that most certainly still exists, rather than always taking something negative and deciding that that is evidence enough to end you long-standing relationships.

If when you get to college next year you find yourself developing new friendships and becoming more distant with old school friends this will tend to happen naturally. What many people find is that they keep one or two close friends from school days but develop new close relationships at varsity or college.

Do your best to locate the good - I promise you it is there even if it seems buried under a pile of irritation right now! Enjoy these last few months at school - remember, we can never go back and regrets are often more irritating than the original irritations!

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