Our expert says:
Doesn't sound like an equal or wholesome relationship to start with - whence come all these rules and regulations without discussion and JOINT formulation of them ? Is he really that controlling ? Maybe as you imply, he's trying to sort out in THIS relationship what went wrong in his previous relationship, an enterprise doomed to fail.
Because he allowed someone else to over-control him, he now expects you to enable him to over-control you ?
Yet in your description, it sounds as though you have also unpacked unhelpful habits from your years as a single mom, and would prefer in some significant ways to mother him, and that also isn't helpful.
If you really want this relationship to have any real chance, see a marriage / couples counsellor together ASAP.
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