Posted by: G | 2008/07/15

How to handle sleeping together

Hi there,

Im in a dilemma, my girlfriend asked me if I have slept with someone before, and I told her I have, she is still a virgin, and now she is struggling to cope with the whole idea.
What can I do to help her get over it?
We are so much in love and Im really seeing a future for us.
How should I handle the whole situation?
I dont want to lose her for mistakes I made in my past!
I love her deeply and Im sure she loves me too!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I really think people should resist the urge to be excessively fussy about the previous relationships of their partner. See a relationship counsellor together as this specific objection probably masks a number of other problems and issues, including low self-esteem and uncertainty about relationships

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Sg | 2008/07/15

Why should sleeping with someone else before you met her be a problem ! I agree with CS,see an expert to work through the issues.

Reply to Sg
Posted by: Ja | 2008/07/15

Why dont you tell her what you've written above? It was a mistake, and she is allowed to feel the way she does since she still has a "gift" to give you on your wedding night.
I hope she keeps her virginity for marriage and i also hope she will accept your past.
Honour hes decision by abstaining from here until you guys get married. I'm sure THAT will show her how much you really love her.

Reply to Ja
Posted by: hosh | 2008/07/15

sorry DOC i think you have it wrong this time.

hey bro, just tell her what you just wrote here!! tell her how you feel! you dont need to seeing a relationship counsellor!!

Reply to hosh
Posted by: jo | 2008/07/15

"I dont want to lose her for mistakes I made in my past!" - having a past is not a mistake and sleeping with people before you and this girl got together is not a mistake. you did what you did at the time because you felt it was right so i think you are being unfair on yourself. "I love her deeply and Im sure she loves me too!" - if she truly does love you she will accept you for who and what you are and the path travelled to get to where you are today. it is her choice to be a virgin but does not make your choice to not be wrong. not sure how old you both are but she may need to grow up a bit more to think that in now days people wait until marriage to sleep together. and agreed with cybershrink she may have alterior motives and is using your past as an excuse.

Reply to jo

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