Our expert says:
Having kids early on, tends to create one very absorbing form of life for you, but to make it hard to develop other dimensions of life for a time. And you are wise to recognize that someone who has for so long only known the role of Mom, can suffer the Empty Nest Syndrome when their youngest matures and leaves home, rather than recognizing and enjoying the great opportunities now to develop other aspects of their life. And as you se, it can lead to your extending the nest, and trying to continue to mother people who no longer need it.
Maybe some mariage counselling would help you both to enjoy the marriage more, and set you both at the top of each other's lists. See a personal counsellor and work out what else you can do and enjoy in life. Maybe use some of your spare "mothering" energies in volunteer work with children in need, hospices, old age homes, etc., helping people who really need and deserve help, rather than pressing help on people who, however greatful, no longer need it exactly because you did your job as mom so well
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