Our expert says:
Apart from marriag counselling if you two can agree on it and arange it, it sounds like you badly need some organizational skills, and to draw on help where you can find it. Is there some financial advice and help available through your bank ? ( Generally, hey'd rather work with you to keep your head above water than lose loans entirely ). Can you call the Tax people and see if they can allocate you someone to help you sort out the tax mess ? Again, surely they'd rather you tried to work with them to sort it out, than to get into bigger problems ?
Go for the HIV test anyway, that should be easy to arrange at a government clinic. Check on how you can support and help her with her studies. Are there family members who can help you two share some of the burden and at least to talk through the problems and seek solutions ? And consider, after discussing this with your wife, calling a group like FAMSA, to arrange joint mariage counselling, to heal whatever can be healed ?
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