Our expert says:
Dear Step Mom,
Well, he can tell his son that his mother's family moved around a lot, making it impossble for him to find him, and also he can tell him how, though it was hard to afford it, he tried so hard to be there at the birth, and to visit him after that. He can also explain that he and the boy's mom were not happy together and could not now be happy together, so that getting back together would not be best for the boy. he can also make it clear that nothing that has happened has been your fault, and that you are the person he now loves and will be marrying --- but that he plans to keep in touch with the boy, and that he loves him.
Birdie has summarized the issue perfectly.
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