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Question
Posted by: M | 2007/12/03

how to deal with stress

i get stressed out very easily, I know i have that kind of personality but lately it has been even worse. We have 2 small children, both very demanding and active as children are. We both work fulltime also. Just lately I get so stressed out over things which should not bother a person to that extent.

The other morning I got the kids ready for school and i couldnt find my carkeys. My partner was the one who used my car the night before and he had put the keys down somewhere, I had errands to run before work too that morning as I work close to home so i get kids ready do errands and more before I even get to work in the mornings. I was late for school and work and unable to run the errands which needed ot be done. I got so angry over not being able to find these keys and was so cross at my partner for not looking after the stuff. Everything lately is his fault in my eyes...

The other day he said why dont I go to the shops and take the kids early in the morning so I went but we got stuck in traffic because of the time we went. Not only was i angry at the traffic but I was angry at hi m for choosing that time for us to go (although i didnt have to go at that time I know)

Then he again borrowed my car and left it a mess with seats down etc and I had to struggle to fix it with 2 kids in tow. Again the stress hit me and I silently cursed him for not thinking of me.
Something that would take maybe 1 minute of effort for him would take 5-10minutes less stress for me.

He worked on the weekend and I had to take the kids to a party and other places, I spent all day running after them (which is normal for small kids) but when he came home he wants to take the family out to supper for a restaurant and cant understand why I dont want to go.

I guess a lot of my stress is frustration and I know I often direct it at him which is not always fair, for example the traffic wasnt his fault. But he never has to deal with the things that pop up on a daily basis like I do so cant understand why i get so stressed out. Maybe I just need a break from work and routine and over holidays he will be off to help me with things too.

I want to know how can i deal with my stress more effectively though. Some things slide over people like water off a ducks back but for me they work me up so i get myself into a real state. How can I stop this???

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

For the general problem of getting "stressed out" so easily, it would be wise to find a good local shrink providing CBT counselling, so you can eficiently learn how to avoid most stress ( and anger ) and cope better with the rest of it. The coming break sounds very promising --- and use the opportunity for some calm, relaxed chats with him about the sort of things you find stressful, discussiong them as situations which cause you to feel stressed, rather than discussing them as things he does wrong. See if he can suggest solutions to some of these situations.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cat | 2008/11/13

how do i reduce my stress levels at work and home by becoming more organized and stop procrastinating???

Reply to cat
Posted by: heema | 2008/06/11

Hi there

I have been suffering with bad short term memory problems.
for instance i can't photo imagine something that i did 2 hours ago.

the other day i put something in my cupboard and could not remember putting there. i looked mad for it as i couldn't find it at the time and later found it in the cupboard.

should i be concerened about this as it is not the first time something like this has happened.

is there a vitamin that can assist with such kind of memory problems please?

Reply to heema
Posted by: anton | 2008/04/22

Can such stress that has built up over years cause symptons such as dizzess and hand tremors?

Reply to anton

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