Our expert says:
Narcissists aren't typically abusive, so he may have had a bit more, too. Your description sounds far more antisocial. For him to spitefully refuse to talk to you about the children where this is obviously necessary for their welfare, as in the examples you quote, that sounds neglectful if not abusive. Failure to have the seen appropriately by a doctor is abusive and neglectful.
I'm not sure who is telling you his misbehaviours are not enough to get you granted sole custody in a court - it may at least encourage a court to impose more conditions on how he may behave when caring for them.
Neither welfare authorities nor the family advocate should be so naive as to be bamboozled by such a person, and their sole duty is to assess the welbeing of the children, not to admire him. And they should encourage the children to communicate freelly with you and with them while they are with him, of they are at all concerned about their own well-being, and the 6-year-old at least should be able to do so responsibly.
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