Posted by: Susie | 2006/07/14

How to cope?

Dear CS,

Once again I need your valuable advice. My 23 year old daughter is planning to live overseas once she has her degree. I am very sad about this and although I have some months to get used to the idea, I don't know how I am going to cope once she leaves...... She does not live at home anymore and I don't see her all that often, but at least she is not that far away right now. How do I stay strong and not fall to pieces once she leaves?! I know I have to accept the situation as she has the right to live her life as she wants. But I do worry about her and I am sad about her going.

Thanks and have a good weekend.

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Our expert says:
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Hello Susie,
In life some things we need to expect, like children growing up and leaving home ; and we can chose either to accpt these situations as challenges to thrive, or as crusing disasters. You can do the former. Clearly there are several tasks at hand. Develop the rest of your life which sounds to have been lying fallow for some years --- find and make new friends, new activities, get involved in charities and NGO's, church, clubs, whatever activities you can find fulfilling. Maybe extend some of your own hobbioes and educational attanments. And work also on developing further your skills in the field of maintaining good contact with your daughter while she's overseas --- email, maybe explore VOIP, webcam, whatever, to add to the facility to remain in good contact while also allowing her to spread her wings and soar.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: SUN | 2006/07/15

I feel for you. My daughter is only 13 years old but I already dread the day that she will move away and the chances are good that she will go overseas - def. more opportunities there for youngsters than in SA and it makes them independant and they get to see the world - which is good. I wish I had those opportunities when I was young. Once she is settled in wherever she is going, you can go and visit and who knows - you can even move there if possible. I wish you luck and strength in times ahead.

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