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Question
Posted by: dolli | 2008/01/10

how to communicate with a man

im 40 and my boyfriend is 45yrs. we have been dating for 4months now. he is a sweet person, is very quiet. last week we had a quarrel regarding his ex and how he is not talking to me.

i sent him an sms and email but he is not responding and when i call him, there is no answer. its been 2weeks now. the sms and emails were polite and i do not understand why he is not responding.

do men have certain communication styles? or maybe i must write a letter to him.

before he was not like this and he would respond when i send sms or emails.
if its over between us, why is he not saying it then? what causes a men to behave in this way and not respond?

i would like to hear from the men and women

thanks

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

This isn't a "men" thing, but something personal about how he is apparently not handling an argument well. Men ( and women ) who can't handle disagreement sometimes behave childishly and unhelpfully like this, but fortunately, not most men nor most women. Accept that the relationship may be over, and stop communicating with him. Leave it to him to make the next move, if any.
If he's not man enough or mature enough to handle this politely, then at least you know you're missing much less than you first expected.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Joy | 2008/01/10

A man that wants you will make his intentions known - whether you have a fight or not! Men make effort when they care and when they dont care, they stop making the effort! Stop all communication lines from your side to his cause you're just making a fool of yourself and seem desperate and ridiculous!!

Reply to Joy
Posted by: Dejavu | 2008/01/10

Dolli, do not hold your breath. If he is blatantly avoiding you, he is probably not well mannered enough to face you and politely tell you that it is over.
There are no special communication channels to follow. He probably lured you to his nest using smss and emails, and this is probably his prefered method of communication, nothing more. Unless he lost his phone or changed email addresses, then he has no excuse not to respond. Even so, he probably knows where you stay, he could come and see you if he wants things to work out between the two of you.
Consider this to be just like a high school fling that just died its own natural death and move on with your wonderful life! He is probably back with his ex!

Reply to Dejavu
Posted by: Britty | 2008/01/10

Yes, the logical thing to do would be to both come together and discuss the whole thing. If you can't accept his behaviour and why should you write him off as you have tried your best. Do you really want this kind of treatment to happen every time you have a disagreement with him - find someone else who treats you better. If it was me I would send him a really nice and final message telling him how you feel and that you are moving on and wishing him all the best for the future. Take care.

Reply to Britty
Posted by: Hope* | 2008/01/10

I  agree with you Dolli, he should be a man and handle the situation.

Reply to Hope*
Posted by: dolli | 2008/01/10

i feel that its over, but the last thing i request is that he tells me in my face that its over.

just as much as he approached me on the first day that we must start a relationship and now he must approach me again and tell me that its over.

this is my last request.

Reply to dolli
Posted by: Hope* | 2008/01/10

The silent treatment is so cruel. He is a coward, he wont communicate what he is feeling or he is keeping his options open. Whatever he thinks he is doing, you dont deserve to be treated like that. Stop sending him messages and sms and see what happens, but I would consider the relationship over.

Reply to Hope*
Posted by: Echelle | 2008/01/10

Some men do that, they are called pigs...

After two weeks you can know that it's over.

Forget about him, he's not worth crying over...

Reply to Echelle

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