Posted by: Jade | 2008/09/30

How to Break this shell!

Hi CS!
I have a young sister(13),would like to know how i could help her get over whatever this is.
She is so self aware in public its crazy!
She will speak to a wisper if theres people around that she doesnt know,she' s just be too conservative!
It really gets on my nerves and then i will do things that i know i shouldnt just to try and get her out of it which just angers her and she goes even deeper in her shell.So that dsnt help much im not sure what to do, i think def.her slef esteem is way low and thats sad because she' s such a pretty girl, beautifull and sweet although sge has her moods sometimes.

She dsnt take well to new ppl.
She also dsnt make friends easily altho she does have a few close friends.I try to show her the way and take her with when i go out with friends,she enjoys herself but wont get involved or speak unless sopken to.
I think the part that really gets to me is that she looks down when in public or when approaching someone she wont look at them but down as if she dsnt see them, I guess to avoid any conversations.

I dont want this for her and that she' s growing up id like her to get out of this.She is very insecure and even vrets about going to the shop.She' s very stiff in public even when out with her close friends.
i just want her to be like any other child her age.
What can i do...?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Could be a form of social anxiety disorder, which responds really well to some medications and to CBT counselling / psychotherapy. Trying to drag her out of her shell, as you have noticed, often just pushes her more firmly back into it. But the therapy will help her come out and enjoy socializing, more gently and effectively. She doesn't have to be "like any other child her age" --- she can be even better than that ! And she may well have low self-esteem, and low self-confidence, which CBT could help her correct, so as to be able to enjoy social life more, while remaining true to her personality which may be as a more private person than most

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Our users say:
Posted by: EL | 2008/10/01

It sounds exactly like me when I was her age! Leave her, it' s who she is, the more pressure you put on her the worse it will get! It will change when she gets older!

Reply to EL
Posted by: ME | 2008/09/30

I understand your concern sisi, but please give her a break. I think its her charecter, thats the way she is, you can' t expect her to be like someone else. God created her the way she is. Just take it easy with her sis, please

Reply to ME

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