Posted by: Survivor | 2009/08/11

How to begin

We were married for 5 years when I finally realised that he only married me to gain S.African citizenship.
A compulsive gambler..he left me with my our 5 year old daughter, emptied our bank account and disappeared off the face of the earth. He left me to take care of the bills and everything else.
I managed to survive, could not trace him and tried to move on. Desperately hoping he’ d reappear as I was still in love with him.
A year ago, we resumed contact, but at the same time I met up with the wrong friends, my mother passed away. I crumbled under the pressure and got involved in drink and drugs. I lost my job and could no longer take care of my daughter. I let her go and stay with him. I had no choice.

After a few months, I booked myself into a rehab to get my act together . Whilst there, he managed to get temporary custody of my daughter (we are not even divorced yet). Claiming that they could not get hold of me, he damn well knew where I was!

Because he has criminal connections, I feared for my life and relocated from JHB to CT. I now need to get a divorce and fight for my daughter, but don’ t know where to begin.

My main concern is that if he realises that I’ m better and willing to fight. Not only will he again make me fear for my life and the fact, that he might take my daughter out of the country.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageDivorce support expert

Dear Survivor,

your story is very alarming for the fact that you fear for life and that he may kidnap your daughter. Do consult with a lawyer with no further delay and even go to the police for your right to protection.
You can contact me on for a lawyer referral.



The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Survivor | 2009/08/13

Many thanks for the response.

Will do.

Reply to Survivor

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.