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Question
Posted by: nic | 2007/12/04

how not to be nasty exwife

Hi

I'm divorced for quite a few years & ex is living with lady he left us for.After years of fighting I’ve become friends with my ex again for the kids sake and we now have a situation where we almost share a joint custody & the kids have 2 loving & supportive parents. No fighting anymore over money and access.
For obvious reasons things were hostile between me and his now girlfriend as he left us for her.
My problem is this: Thru being friends with my ex so that we raise kids together, he tends to overstep boundries. Because I’m not involved he starts seeing us as his family that he just doesn’t stay with. This makes it emotionally very difficult for me as it took so much for me to move on. I appreciate the financial and other support he provides the kids but feel as if he still treats me as his wife and not just a friend. I suggested that I make peace with his girlfriend, as I forgave her some time ago but she refuses to even great me. I offered to send flowers as a token of gratitude when the kids sleep at their house. My ex seems dead against me making peace with her. He says she is jealous of me and will always hate me cause I share kids with him.
I want to be friends with her so that she can see there is nothing between me and him and also for the sake of the kids. They love her and I just want to end the animosity. I’m sure she loves my kids and I appreciate what she does for them.
Does it make sense that my ex wants this rift to remain between me and his girlfriend. Am I being idealistic.
If I die the kids go to them, I was hoping that if I include her more we could be friends.

Advice pls, do I leave well enough alone or do I make peace?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds like the gf is the one who really needs to grow up and act adult, here.

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4
Our users say:
Posted by: Britty | 2007/12/04

Go with your gut feeling which is to send her flowers maybe with a card thanking her for being so good to your kids which makes it all so much easier for you. You can but try and if she is still not interested, let it go but carry on greeting her even though she doesn't because you are the better person. Take care.

Reply to Britty
Posted by: Lolo | 2007/12/04

i thnk your ex made it loud and clear in her ear that he has kids and don't need anymore of them.

don't worry be proud that your ex love and care for his children.

Reply to Lolo
Posted by: NIC | 2007/12/04

nO... SHE HAS NO KIDS AND THEY BOTH AGREED ON ABORTING IF SHE FALLS PREGNANT. I belive there is good in everyone and how do I teach my kids if not by example.

Reply to NIC
Posted by: Lolo | 2007/12/04

there is nothing wrong with what you wannna do the problem is with her and her insecurities, and there is nothing you can do to change the fact that you have two beatiful kids with your ex hubby.

does she have kids?

Reply to Lolo

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