Posted by: Concern | 2008/09/09

How long can a man abstain

Guys please help me out  can a guy stay for more than a month without having sex, is this normal? he' s got a demanding job and studying at the same time. his explanation is  this is for a temporary once he finish with his exams thing will fall into place. we are planning to get married soon, and we are staying separate. we only c each other once a month or sometimes after 2 month.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Whilst I'm not a guy, I feel I can offer a professional perspective on this...I have several comments, firstly a man can survive without sex, and particularly when stressed/tired as this impacts on libido. However, it may be that he is relieving his sexual tension through masturbation, which would be quite a normal response... Why don't you ask him about how he manages?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Concern | 2008/09/11

Thank you very much guys for your response. I love the guy and I don’ t want to loose him, I see your point. He always tells me to relax, he once said he masturbates every day, and I thought he was joking and I laughed at him.

You know if you have been hurt before, it is difficult to think clearly! I will give him the benefit of doubt and support him 100%.

thank you once again.

Reply to Concern
Posted by: Anon | 2008/09/10

Wow - you' re actually going out with a grown-up! If a man has a clear goal then he focusses on that and can go without sex for ages. But it takes quite a high level of committment and maturity - maybe he needs to find a grown up girl?

Do you think that the men who train for the space program, to do all the difficult and top-end jobs in this world are men who cannot go without sex for longer than a month? There are good priests who have decided to do without sex for their entire lives because they have a higher goal.

This guy is obviously determined to rise above his circumstances and the woman who is able to support him will rise with him.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Concern | 2008/09/10

B. careful,
You know i sometimes feel like he doesn' t love me anymore. They guy is doing his MBA, he said he will only have all time after his nov exams. We don' t talk that much, after work he stays over until 10h15. On weekend he' s got a group class somewhere. We stay 75 km away from each other. He did something recently he introduced me to his family for the first time, and that left me speechless.

hmmm, when we talk about seeing and having sex once a month he said he doesn' t want to indulge too much into marriage benefit, otherwise he will end up not seeing a point of getting married, he doesn' t want free benefit, before marriage.

B. careful you got me thinking!

Reply to Concern
Posted by: B. Careful | 2008/09/09

How often do you talk to him? Do you talk on the phone alot? Does he reassure you that he loves you? Is it obvious to you that he' s in love with you? Do you live far apart from each other? If not, I don' t see why there' s no reason for you to see each other more often.
The point I' m getting at is that he may be having second thoughts about marrying you. If that' s true, he may be afraid of hurting your feelings which could be why he doesn' t spend much time with you. He may be just buying himself some time until he works up the nerve to call it off.
Hmmm, may be right as well

Reply to B. Careful
Posted by: Hmmm? | 2008/09/09

First of all, everyone is different and there is no such thing as " normal" . What may be normal for him may not be normal for somebody else.
It is entirely possible that he' s just exhausted from work and his studies and simply doesn' t have time for you at the moment. Nothing anyone tells you here can prove otherwise.
Sure, some flags went off when I read your message but I' m not him and I' m giving him the benefit of the doubt that he' s telling the truth.
Can a guy go a month without sex? Yes he can, that' s why we masterbate. It gets us through the rough times.

Reply to Hmmm?

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