Posted by: Kathy | 2009/03/11

How is this for below the belt

I have a " friend" . We have been friends for the past 10 years. I have Never asked her for anything and never will.
I have taken her and bought her groceries on may occations, sometimes spending up to R3000.00. I have lent her money whenever she needed it and never asked for it back as I know she is struggling. Through me she found a job ( I even gave her a reference, saying that she worked for me in order for her to get work)
I have allowed her and her family to stay in my home when times were tough. I picked her up when she was down...

She resigns from work, all is ok, because she has found another job, so she is getting quite a sum from her pension. She told me about it and I was very happy for her. Just before she leaves, she tells me not to let on to her husband that I know about her pension pay out. I ask her why, and she responds, " we are afraid that you may ask us for a loan" 
I am absolutelly hurt about this. I have never asked her for a cent and never intended to.
They are telling me, Its ok for YOU to help us, BUT if you by any chance need help, Dont ask us for any!!
Can you believe it

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

What a horribly revealing comment from her ! On the lines of --- If there's anything you need --- just go on needing it. I guess she's off your loans and Christmas Cards list now. Liza is being so kind in interpreting this so the other woman oesn't look too bad. I 'm not onvinced that the Royal We is used except by Royalty and the Queen's Urologist.

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Our users say:
Posted by: dee | 2009/03/12

I always say that you can divide people into two categories in life. There are GIVERS and there are TAKERS.
The givers will always give - their time, money, help, friendship, accommodation, food, patience, listening ear, and are always there to help.
The takers will ALWAYS take - your money, your time, your help, your friendship, your food, and will never ever want to give or help.
You are the giver - your selfish friend is the taker. you will never change thank god. - but nor will she ever change. cut her off dont subject yourself any longer. by making that decision at least you are in control. do it and move on. find friends that are like you GIVERS

Reply to dee
Posted by: oho | 2009/03/11

it' s always like that, the people that you help will thank you with a plate full of shit! she' s a pig!

Reply to oho
Posted by: Liza | 2009/03/11

Don' t be too hasty about making a judgement. If your friend really thought you would ask for a loan and didn' t trust you, she never would have told you about the pension payout.

And when she said " We are afraid you might ask us for a loan" , I personally think that this is an attitude from her husband and that the ' We'  is used like the royal ' We' , which means that even though she wants to show solidarity with her husband, she doesn' t really agree with him. He might not trust your friendship, but she does. I' m reading a lot between the lines here and making a hasty judgement might cost you a trustworthy friend.

Good Luck

Reply to Liza
Posted by: T | 2009/03/11

LOL! Who needs enemies with friends like that. I think it' s an absolute cheek!

Reply to T
Posted by: eish | 2009/03/11

get a new friend

Reply to eish

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