Our expert says:
As jaon suggests, lets parse this problem a bit. Your riend sincerely told you that the way you respond to neutral things COMES ACROSS as aggressive. That may be a fact, and is unrelated to whether you actually feel or intend to sound aggressive.
Its worth trying to modify your style as it apparently has a diferent effect on others than that which you intend. And, like the example of shouting at the dog, that doesn't stop a dog barking, but encourages it. Whether or not his own anxiety amplifies his responses to your style, isn't perhaps the most important aspect of this.
There's absolutely no virtue in being "to the point" in a blunt, inconsiderate, even potentially cruel way. Being honest in a tactful way is far better. And you don't have perfect knowledge of the universe - you're saying it like you see it, not necessarily saying it the way it is
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