Posted by: help | 2009/03/03

how do you describe...

....someone who does not forgive nomatter how you apologise to them. Hubby and I had an agument last week Monday and I was in a bad mood and just yelled at him disrespectully but later realized my mistake and started apologising. He hasn' t spoken to me since then, he is just not prepared to forgive. He tells me to look for someone whosed gonna accept my behavour cauze he is simply not prepared to go along. He has wronged me numerous times but forgave and forgot.

True colours are coming out, " I just don' t understand his character and don' t know how to deal with this issue" .

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Why describe him ? A better question would be how to deal with him. Its understandable for someone whose feelings were hurt to sulk a litle, but grown men don't keep that up for long, especially not when the other person has apologised. Wait for his sulk to wear off. Maybe you can use this as an opportunity to suggest that you feel so bad about having said such nasty things, you'd like him to join you in marriage counselling, to work out how you can, together, prevent such things from happening again.

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Our users say:
Posted by: The big sulk | 2009/03/04

Hey, as a man its a defensive mecanism I think, Maybe he does not want to go into it just then and there, so keeps quiet,and goes into the petulant, silent ,hurt mode. I know its horrible for the other party, but we just can' t seem to stop doing it. I know I do the same thing. Its childish and we should be quick to apologise,or to accept an apology but it just won' t come. I don' t know why on earth we do this. The best thing that does seem to help is to take a note of what Dr Phil says, do you want to be right or do you want to be happy ? Us gtuys just have to grow up !! Generally it does not last long and afterwards we feel crap, but there we go again !! I am REALLY going to make an effort the next time !!

Reply to The big sulk
Posted by: wtf | 2009/03/03

he will eventually forgive you, and the make up sex will be really good !!!

now THERES something to look forward to!

ps why dont you talk to him about his forgiveness issues aswell?

Reply to wtf

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