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Question
Posted by: Just ... | 2007/04/17

how do u tell him this?

tell ur hubby that there spark is no more there?

i mean those betterflies in the stomoch, that spark when lovemaking, that love in the eyes, that feeling of love and being loved, that electrifying emotions.... all gone. buts this is ur husband/wife so u cant just say all these are gone so lets divorce, u want to try and get'em back. how do u talk to ur partner about something like this without the partner feeling bad or anything like that.


we are on a long distance relationships for about 3 years now, weekends we fight a lot most of the time and end up not having a pleasant weekent, i suspect he is cheating on me, he suspects i am cheating on him, has no evidence or ground but i have grounds on which why i suspect so....

this past weekend was one weekend we didnt fight or anything like it and it has been nice but i noticed that even if we dont fight these feelings are no more there, sex is just sex and nothing more, no passion, just before he left we has sex again and i really made time to look at him while we were doin it i looked him in his eyes and i saw nothing, that passion he used to have, that love written all over his face was just not there, and i realised that what i saw is what i felt, nothing, i didnt have that passion myself, its more like we were having sex for the sake of having sex thats all. i think even sex with someone u dont know is better than this.

i dont know how to bring it up without him feeling i am trying to start another argument. and seeing the way that he is , he will not admit what he really feels to me. one thing for sure is we are drifting further and further apart.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Long-distance relationships are usually difficult, especially when the separation extends for so long --- would marriage counselling be possible to set up ? IT could surely help. You don't need to bring it up in any way that implies he is at fault or lacking, but simply that you feel sure he also feels the relationship is not working as well as it used to, and you would like to work with him towards refreshing and improving it

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: rose | 2007/04/18

hi just...

i think casey was making a bit of a joke with BETTERflies as it's actually spelt bUtterflies.. probably implying watch out for something 'better' that will give you butterflies..

not to worry about it dear

rose

Reply to rose
Posted by: Just ... | 2007/04/17

he doesn want to come back this side, he was born here and says he needs change in his life, but if he'd get a chance to come back he would just for us and nothing else but its not a place he would like to spend the rest of his life in.

I on the other have have been tryin for ages to get a job where he is and i have had no luck so far.

Casey, what do u mean when u say its the batterflies we need to watch out for?

Reply to Just ...
Posted by: Casey | 2007/04/17

It's the "betterflies" we need to watch out for.

Reply to Casey
Posted by: Joy | 2007/04/17

Hey girl. sho, these feelings of insecurity and hurt must be killing you but i'm wondering when u guys are gonna make a plan to be together again. I mean i'v been doing long distance for a year now and its super hard, we've been together for two years, but he's making plans to be where i'm at. I think one can only deal with the distance for a certain period and then you want more. There are so many things going on during the week and when you're together on weekends its like you've lost touch. I think you might be needing more but not seeing things develop on his side..as if he's not making any effort or doesnt feel the need to be with you as much as you do. Have you talked about bridging the distance between you?

Reply to Joy

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