Our expert says:
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
Hi to you Wondering. Welcome to the forum and thanks for posting.
Sometimes we place too much emphasis on labels such as straight, lesbian and bi - the vast majority of us are located somewhere between to the two extremes of being 100% gay/lesbian and 100% straight. You're becoming increasingly aware of your attraction to women, indicating that - like everyone else - you're not 100% straight. That doesn't necessarily mean that you're lesbian - it simply means that you're human and in touch with your own sexuality and feelings. Your emotional attraction to women - besides a sexual attraction - is not just an indication of who you are are in your current (straight) relationship.... sexual orientation includes sexual and emotional attraction.
Don't try to label yourself - rather just go with the process and the flow and see where that takes you. The most important aspect here is that you are true to yourself. Explore and embrace your lesbian fantasies, as fantasies - we don't always feel compelled to act out our fantasies, right? - and see where they take you.
You can't 'blame' your sexual orientation questions on your currently being in an unhappy straight relationship - gays and lesbians are certainly not 'victims' of poor straight relationships. Give yourself time and space and plenty of permission to decide who you are and what you truly want.... and then listen to your gut feel without judgement, guilt or shame and claim your space to celebrate who you are and what you need.
I'm hoping you'll post again Wondering.
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