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Question
Posted by: Lux | 2004/11/08

How do i tell her without hurting her feelings?

I have a beautiful sister who have a loving boyfriend. I have noticed that she doesn't take care of herself like she used to, i would like to tell her that a little bit of make over will help her image. As i don't like what i see eachtime i look at her. how do i tell her without damaging her self esteem?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Excelent suggestions all round !

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Our users say:
Posted by: Lux | 2004/11/08

Thanks to all of you, i just feel that she is negleting herself. But thanks for the response.

Reply to Lux
Posted by: Chelle | 2004/11/08

It depends on the reason she isn't looking after herself the way she used to. Perhaps she doesn't really like the fancy clothes and make up, maybe she has become more comfortable within herself. She shouldn't have to dress or appear the way you like it. She should do it the way she likes it.
You'd need to establish if she is happy the way she is now.
If she is perhaps losing a sense of who she is within the relationship she is now in, then you need to talk to her about the way she feels.
Definitely don't tell her that she needs a makeover, or that you don't like the way she looks / dresses. You could express your concern that she doesn't spend as much time on herself, but you have to do it with caring about who she is as a person, and not address it in the manner of your not liking what she looks like and her being in need of a makeover.

Reply to Chelle
Posted by: Inc | 2004/11/08

Dear Lux

You may be trying to help your sister... but, she could be comfortable the way she is. Remember that everyone is different. Maybe, you should wait until she asks for your opinion... and then give it to her as tactful as possible. Maybe suggest that the two of you spend a girls day out... go shopping... both of you have your hair done... your nails... in that way, she won't feel like you are picking on her... let her see a makeover, as something that you guys can do together?

Reply to Inc
Posted by: Loli | 2004/11/08

Take her out for shopping, then you will suggest or make her choose clothes that suite her most

Good luck

Reply to Loli

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