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Question
Posted by: z | 2004/02/07

how do I stop hurting so much

My boyfriend of almost 2 years (we've known eachother for6 years) left me tuesday, he didn't give me a reason, the day before we still made love. He just called the evening and said that he doesn't want to be my boyfriend anymore but he still want me to be his best friend and he still loves me!

I'm hurting so much and I don't know why is he doing this to us, I've asked him why so many times and he just says he's sorry. He doesn't answer his phone, he doesn't reply to my sms's anymore. Everything was fine in our relationship(well from my viewpoint) I kept things interesting and fun..hehe I still gave him a lapdance and stripshow on monday.

How do I move on if I don't know why he is hurting me like this. I know I can't make him love me or go out with me again. How do I stop hurting?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dear z,
In time, you will stop hurting. That doesn't feel possible right now, but it is inevitable. Who knows why he did something so thoughtless and cruel ? Maybe even he isn't clear on why he did so. Pursuing him won't be likely to bring him back, even though he does owe you an explanation, he may never have the guts to provide one.
He must surely understand that if he claims to still love you, he has chosen an extremely peculiar way to demonstrate love ; and if he says he wants to be your best friend, well, the problem is that best friends don't behave like this, either. Maybe give it a little time, and ttese issues may become clearer.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: NP | 2004/02/09

Hi Z, I am a guy and was in the exact situation as you are now. The ultimate motive was that she found someone else. I found that out by my own research. My way to deal with it was not let hatred turn to anger. I made a determination not to sweet talk but nothing more than hello, how r u & goodbye.I decided to be kind and spend time with my families. This took 2 months to recover from being like seasick. Hope for the best.

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