Our expert says:
Sounds like it'd really be useful for you to see a personal counsellor to work on many relevant issues, such as perhaps your feeling a need to be in a relationship, but mainly to help you examine your alternatives and make a wise decision for yourself and your child.
If you are HIV+ and he is not, of course you need to discuss this with him. There is nothing about condoms as such that should cause any problems with an erection, and such problems would be psychological in nature and also therefore able to be cleared up with counselling.
There is no really effective sort of psychological vaccination that can protect us against a future loss as in a relationship, but your counsellor could help you to re-evaluate the situation and draw helpful rather than exaggerated conclusions from it
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