Posted by: Nicky | 2007/07/11

How do I overcome this fear?

I was brought up in a house where my parents fight in front of us most of the time. Some discussions was never privately, so we knew what was going on. My father was unfaithful. When we got older, my mother told us what he did and how she don’t trust him. Every fight they have, she would say something about it. They have an unstable relationship! So as a child I grew up with this “image” of a marriage. In all the relationships I’ve been, I was cheated on. Today I’m 25, engaged and so scared to get married. This has a big influence on our relationship. I feel like I don’t trust him, he never gave me a reason not to trust him. I’m seeing things the rong way, I’m always wondering if he did cheat on me and never found the courage to tell me, that he knew what it will do to me. I don’t want to feel like this, I want to trust him, I want to be happy and I don’t want this negative thoughts about him and our marriage. I want to be free from this fear! How do I overcome this???

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Our expert says:
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Its understandable, perhaps, but always unjustifiable and unwise, for parents to involve their children within their quarrels. Of course you grew up with an expectastion that this is how marriage is. And one tends to get caught into relationships later in life which involve similar people and similar outcomes --- UNLESS one decides to change this set of expectations. This is where personal cousnelling, especially of the CBT format, can help a lot, to examine, test and revise the expectations you grw up with. It can work on issues like trust, and help you to trust realistically, and avoid unhelpful and inaccurate negative thoughts

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Dude | 2007/07/11

face ur fears

Reply to Dude

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