Posted by: Rvm | 2007/12/06

How do I move on?

Hi. It is a commen thing,but I lost my girlfriend to someone else. She went oversea,and met him. It hurts like hell that we still have contact,but how do I let go. How do I go about getting over her? I know the best way is to break all contact,but how do I do that? I still have hope,for some reason,but can't carry on like this. Please help with any advis/suggestions.

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Our expert says:
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ALl forms of loss hurt, but we can get over them, though it usually takes longer than we expect. If she realyl has moved on to someone else, breaking off all contact with her sounds a wise move, which you CAN make --- what's the point of further contact with her now ? False hope isn't wise.

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Our users say:
Posted by: anon | 2007/12/07

Angel if you want CS to respond post your one above as a fresh new post

Reply to anon
Posted by: angel1 | 2007/12/07

My husband of almost 20 years had an affair when we were only married 2 months.I have just come through 6 months of dealing with breast cancer.I know discover he has been in contact with his first girlfriend for the last 3 months, they have been talking on the cell for about an hour every day, some days he was making up to 15 calls to her and in excess of 20 sms a day to her he says he only met her twice while on business.he claims it was friendship, but to me it sounds obsessive as she was phoning as many times a day. they also communicated via email daily and when i tried to look at the email he nearly went mad,he was prepared to risk the marriage not to let me see an email he had sent her.when he phones me once a day he barely speaks for a minute and then must go and work, i feel second best, hurt and betrayed.he says it is over but how do i know?how do i believe and how do i trust him again,WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO MAKE OF THIS

Reply to angel1
Posted by: anon | 2007/12/06

Rvm, what you are going through can be likened to grieving. Your ex gf might not be dead but you are still mourning the loss the relationship. First it comes as a shock, disbelief, perhaps you may feel sad, depressed, lonely, anxious, then slowly come to terms and accept it. You may also ask yourself questions, what if......what could I have done....perhaps guilt or blame.

Now you need to give yourself some time to acknowledge how you are feeling. You will feel better with time and begin to realise your life isn't over. She made a choice and you have choices to.

Try and make contact with friends and go out socially with them. Exercise and eat healthily. Nurture yourself.

If you are finding it difficult to move on after say a few months, then go see someone who can help you work through this.

Remember endings are merely pauses between beginnings. Change is part of growth. You will meet other people and happiness and love will come your way.

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