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Question
Posted by: Selfish and demanding | 2005/12/08

HOW DO I MAKE THINGS RIGHT AND WHEN AM I BEING TOO UNREASONABLE AND DEMANDING

I am just wandering if it is normal to expect a person that you are in a relationship with for 5 years to be monogomous. I have been involved with someone who can be so loving and nice then a day later become so cruel and insultng. No matter what I do I am put down and insulted and accussed of being so demanding and selfish. My partner will log onto date clubs after I leave when I ask about it I am told they have the right to do what they want they dont stop me from visiting other websites and they like this. I woukd say that this is a form of infidelity and they will say not at all. They expect me to sit and smile while they break down what I am doing and insuklt they way I dress and then I must smile and have ntimate relationships after this and when I say no thanks I am so slefish and demanding and everything is about me. I tell them if I am so not good enough and they don;t want me then leave me alone. When I do try and break things off they beg and beg and send sms's for days until I agree to see them. I tell them I cant be with someone that does not love me and want me and that cant acknowldge I exist so I must therefore leave this relationship. They tell me I want other people and therefore I must go. I just wanted to be acknowledged within the relationship and to know it is monogomous so that I can feel safe and loved and part of something special. I do love me partner and when my partner is loving it is so amazing, we fit togter so well. I think this is it. And for now reason at all I get screamt at and insulted for wearing pefume I get told I am a whore for visiting my mother, for asking how my partner is in the evening and not calling in the morning. If I phoned in the orning I might get get a life speach. I am never sure what to do. Am I selfish not to call in the morning. I get told off for cooking or washing dishes and then told I never do anything and am so selfish. How do I deal with irrational mood swings? How do I make things right? HELP

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Yet again, I am amazed that anyone would want to stay in a relationship with such a childish, selfish and uncaring person. This sounds borderline emotionally abusive, and not worth tolerating. You deserve much more than this

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Been there | 2005/12/08

the only way to make things "right" is to leave this selfish man - if a relationship does not fullfill you - you have the right and choice to leave, you have no obligation to stay because of the love you feel. Allot of the time a woman will want to stay "because she loves him" love is not enough, if love hurts - it wont work. Just think about it.

Reply to Been there
Posted by: lulu | 2005/12/08

Why do you refer to him in the plural all the time?

If it's one person you're talking about, he's a jerk and you deserve better. Leave him and stop taking him back when he begs.

If it's more than one partner, you sure have an ability to pick the wrong guys.

Reply to lulu

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