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Posted by: jade | 2005/07/01

how do i make him jealous

I know 2 wrongs dont make a right but how can i make my fiance jealous over me again...i know he is probably at that stage where he trusts me and just takes for granted i will never leave him, but i dont feel special to him anymore, he never compliments me, he never looks at me with passion anymore when we get intimate and when i talk about other guys he doesnt even seem bothered. i so badly want him to be jealous over me again and not just take me for granted. i have even started neglecting myself, my appearance (dress and hair) isnt even what it used to be, i feel like putting in any effort for him will be a waste of time. i looked at myself today in the mirror, my hair is in a bun and i just feel like a granny. i want to feel sexy again (im 25) and i want my man to notice it. what can i do to make him fall inlove with me again :(

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dont even try to make him jealous. It won't solve any of your problems, and could well make some of them worse. and check the archives of the forum as I've so often dealt with male/female differences in the expression of love and romance. Deeve makes good sense. Grow fonder of yourself, and feel good. He'll surely notice and appreciate that.

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Our users say:
Posted by: ... | 2005/07/01

25 and neglecting yourself, is he all you live for? Get a life girl.

Reply to ...
Posted by: Jade | 2005/07/01

Thanks Deeve, i appreciate your time and advise and will take all of your guys advise. i am going to make an appointment to cut my hair tomorrow and im going to stop dressing like a 50 year old. Im going to start doing little romantic things for him again and hopefully the spark will start again, if not i will sit down and have a looong talk with him. Thanks alot guys!

Reply to Jade
Posted by: Deeve | 2005/07/01

Hi Jade,
How about quiting the jealousy act (and word...?) - give it up - throw it away? I sense that you feel insecure, and he doesn't?? When I mean talk - not only telling him that you love him - he knows that. Talk as in looong chats about life - how you feel, where your'e going as a couple, what you want from life, and exactly what you want from him etc etc. Every now and then you need to do a few checks and balances - NOT insecure things - what I mean is take stock. Look from an external perstective on how your life together is paning out, where your'e going, how you feel etc etc.. Talk this through with him - make it become an integral part of your relationship. Teach him to talk to you etc etc. Its wonderful when this world opens up between two people. There is no such thing as " thats just what happens eventually!!" You are NOT happy, or you wouldn't have asked for help/advice here - if you feel that you can't handle this yourself - don't be shy, go see a councilor and talk things through - take him with if he will go. You seriously can't keep walking around feeling the way you do. You need to fix this, before you begin to think that this is the norm! All the best, Cheers

Reply to Deeve
Posted by: Jade | 2005/07/01

Thanks guys for all the advise... Deeve, I understand what you are saying...i tell him everyday i love him and i also tell him how sexy he is and i am extremely jealous over him and i stress that its only because i love him so much and i dont want to lose him. we have both agreed to save sex for marriage so i dont see the point of dressing up in sexy underwear just to tease him so i will be honest and say our sex life is low too. i am going through some problems with my ovaries and so on so foreplay for me is also out of the question, i do pleasure him though (hand and oral sex) but then you know its not satisfying for the both of us so we just end up turning around and sleeping. ive told him on a number of times how i hate the way a relationship dies out and he just said to me its out of our hands thats just what happens eventually. i just dont know how to fix it and im finding myself seeking attention from other guys which i dont want to do, i want it from my man :(

Reply to Jade
Posted by: Deeve | 2005/07/01

Jade,
This all sounds far toooo complicated - how about a little communication in your relationship?? Have you sat him down and whispered in his ear...... told him how you feel?? People can and do respond to change if approached correctly - obviously not the minute he walks in the door after a long day. As already mentioned - the balls in your court - YOU make the moves - make yourself look gorgeous( a candle light dinner at home maybe..???), and then tell him what you want from the relationship. Your'e in the test drive stage now - sort these issues out way before you get married - things won't suddenly get better then.... You both need to work at this for the rest of your life together - or things will get stale and boring - TELL HIM just that!!! Remember one thing - he seems very comfortable and obviously trusts you to bits - thats why he doesn't get phased with other guys around - don't ever try change that - do you really want an insecure creature ranting and raving around you? Its normal for a relationship to simmer down, but hey, if you want the sparks, talk to him - take the initiative, and give things a huge jump start. Go for it, and best of luck.

Reply to Deeve
Posted by: Jordan | 2005/07/01

I think he is just probably very comfortable in where your relationship is at. Don't do anything to jeopardise that.
But what you can do is firstly take that bun out you hair, have some highlights done, gets some sexy lingerie, cook or take-out his favourite meal, buy some sensual CD's and light some candles, surely he will notice you. But more importantly, fall in love with yourself again (well not in love but I'm sure you know what I mean) Spice it up and then lick it up.
Good luck.

Reply to Jordan
Posted by: well | 2005/07/01

Thanks Honeyb....
I see so many girls that start loosing interest in their appearance once they have a serious boyfriend,I know you have some dull down and out days, and that is exceptable,but it should become a norm,You need to be that person that you were before,the one that dressed up,that same person your boyfriend inittially fell in love with.Theres females that get too comfortable and then start picking up weight.EVEN IF YOUR MAN IN YOUR LIFE SAYS HE LIKES YOU THE WAY YOU ARE COZ MOST OF THEM LIE COZ THEY DO NOT WANT TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS. do not listen to him...Do things to make you feel proud of yourself.Thats just what i do,every day,i do my self up,makeup hair my favorite perfume ...and i wear what makes me feel sexy.In that way,you will always have confidence in yourself.

Reply to well
Posted by: honeyb | 2005/07/01

WELL - I couldnt of said it better myself!!!!

Reply to honeyb
Posted by: well | 2005/07/01

u cant make him jealous,,all u can do is bring out the best in you,,like have a new hair colour new hairstyle,wear sexy clothes stilletoes,,,,,,make yourself feel like a million bucks,when you guys are going to go out,i know when i get all done up,for dinner with my boyfriend or for the shopping mall,,he also doesnt get too jealous,but will tell me if other guys are looking at me ...you should not neglect yourself,as you going to loose yourself.You should make yourself look your best every single day,and not for your boyfriend but for yourself.

Reply to well

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