Posted by: Scared | 2004/03/10

How do I have my husband go for an HIV test?

I am a concerned wife. I got married about five months ago. I was in a serious relationship before that, but the man I went out with, had regular check-ups for HIV and he was always negative. Last year I had to have an op and they did an HIV test and I was negative. I got married in last year and now everytime I have intercourse with my husband, I notice that I have an infection. I am scared to go for an HIV test and even worse scared of asking my husband to go for one. He had many affairs before getting married to me. He says he always used condoms, and that if he gets HIV, it will be because of me. He says at work they have to do HIV tests every couple of months, but will he disclose the results to me if his is positive?

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Our expert says:
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I think that you and your husband should discuss this with someone

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Our users say:
Posted by: rina | 2004/03/17

To Butterfly

What is shingles is it the same as herpes?

Reply to rina
Posted by: Mzwandile | 2004/03/12

What does your husbands do for them to take blood test for their work? Blood tests are a personal thing and shouldn't have anything to do with work, there are labour laws against such tests. Unless they thing you are naive and just tricking you. I would advise you to go and have the test on your own and know your status then you can apprehend your husband about the STI so you can flush it out of your system anyway. If you are scared of your husband then the whole relationship is a lie. Good luck and take your own life away from your husband's hands.

Reply to Mzwandile
Posted by: Butterfly | 2004/03/10

Hi Scared

Please find the courage to aske, my husband also goes for these medicals at work and he promised me he would tell should there be any concerns and I thought we loved and trusted each other that at the time I believed what when he said he will tell me.

Today I wish I had asked to see the results myself or had been more involved in the health of my family, because he was positive for a while until I found out through his shingles I am still negative if it was not for the shingles he got, I would have been positive today, we are still togather and happy again.

Do the test, demand to know this is your life and it is in your hands make your husband understand anything is possible, you might be doing yourself a favour he might be too afraid to tell you as my husband said he was and be prepared to forgive and be true to yourself. And if you are negative it does not mean he is not.

Reply to Butterfly
Posted by: malaika | 2004/03/10

The best thing for you to do is go for the tests together.Explain to him that you get an infection after sex and you just want to get to the bottom of it.It could just be an STI and not HIV and this can be treated with antibiotics but both of you need to take them to avoid re-infecting each other.If the both of you say that you've undergone several tests then there shouldn't be a big worry.If your husband doesn't want to go for a test with you then ask to see his last results from his tests at work and als show him yours.I'm not married but i would like to believe that communication and trust are vital in a marriage.He is your husband and you should be able to talk to him about your fears and concerns.Remember; 'through thick and thin...'.Well this is one of those times.Good Luck.

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