Our expert says:
Sorry to sound harsh, but what a bum this guy is ! If he's been drugging from 14 to 35, it's really not likely he'll stop before it kills him, and he certainly won't stop for anyone else or because of anyone else's intervention. At 35 he's still sponging off his family ? Where does he get the money for his expensive habit / hobby ?
If while he's with you he's finding it hard to get funding for it, it may cramp his style temporarily, but be wary and on the look-out for any of your belongings going missing to pay for the stuff. Also, if he is on other drugs than those you're used to looking for, you might not notice the signs of their use. I doubt he's over his adictions and bad habits. ANd don'\t buy his cheap arguments -- professional help is chaper than the drugs
While he stays with you, he should eat whatever you choose to cook, or go hungry. You're not his personal chef. You lock the front door, and keep the key --- he has no need of one, as his stay is surely intended to be temporary --- don't let him settle in and make a nest for himself. And while youi pay for the electricity bill, you control the lighting. He must be reminded, as often as it takes, that he is a GUEST< and temporarily so. And reclaim the remote --- you pay for it, so you watch what you please. If there's something he especially wants to see, he must ask you if he may watch it.
And don't make excuses for him. You ALL had an alcoholic and remote father, only he chose to turn out this way. He was never, and is not now, helpless and unable to change. DO some web-searching on the concept of Tough Love, which may be what he needs.
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