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Question
Posted by: gerda | 2006/03/31

How do I handle him?

I am step mom to three teenagers. I am running out of patience with the one boy.
He is rude always has something to say about anything and am just plain disrespectful.
It feels as if my hands are tied and I do not know how to discipline him.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Check back on the archives to this forum, as we've discussed the basic principles of dealing with unruly kids and teens, many times. Is it because you'[re a stepmom that you feel your hands are tied ? You need to discuss this in depth with your husband, and adopt a common policy, a shared set of rules and penalties for breaking them, and be united in how you apply them.
Excellent reader responses so far !

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4
Our users say:
Posted by: Chelle | 2006/03/31

Teenagers often go through phases like this. You haven't said much about what the relationship with him has been like in the past, or whether he is only cheeky to you, and not his dad though. But generally, teenagers need clear boundaries, even though they might try and fight it. They need parental consistency, and they need to feel accepted and loved. They're generally feeling quite confused about their emotions, and their relationships, so a loving, consistent home life, with rules, as well as priviledges usually goes a long way.

Also, have a nice chat with him. Tell him how much you care about him, also tell him how hurtful it is when he is disrespects you, and how you'd like him to feel happy. Don't do it in a heated moment though.

Best wishes.

Reply to Chelle
Posted by: Delene | 2006/03/31

I have three children. None of them are my husbands's kids. But they never feel like stepkids, that makes the world of difference.
Treat them like your own. When families marry into eachother its not easy. And its not only building a relationship with your partner. You have 4 relationships to build. The son is normal. My own daughter is rude to me, so dont take it personal.

Reply to Delene
Posted by: Lady Lea | 2006/03/31

Clueless,

LOL - Zimbabwe!!! funny very funny

Reply to Lady Lea
Posted by: Clueless. | 2006/03/31

Take away priveledges, like money, tv, games, and ground the little shit! He should have respect for you! Don't take crap from him. Can't you give him a good hiding? Just once. Be assertive and strict.
Tell him you'll send him to boarding shool. In Zimbabwe!
And perhaps YOU can see a shrink, to gain tips on how to handle him. Teenagers are 'mishaps' and sometimes will feel trapped and uncertain. It's not easy having to deal with their tantrums and shit. Good luck!

Reply to Clueless.

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