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Question
Posted by: blacksheep | 2007/08/14

how do i get over this

i was physically abused by my ex sister-in-law when i was growing up - my mother approved of that, in fact she suggested that! my sil actually one day follwed me to school and beat me up infront of other pupils ( i was devastated) - when i told my mom - she never uttered a word! i had to carry the humiliation everyday to school. My mother used to beat me up outside our yard - with a broom stick! one day as she was hitting me i tripped over a heater and it blew up - she continued. she stopped when i was a teenager and i was at a point of fighting back - but then the name calling began - she once said that I was a protitute - i didn't know what that was - and when i found out i was puzzled as i was a virgin - but i found no importance in it - as i was a prostitude! - that killed my self esteem in my teenage years! My mother is a divorcee and i think she was depressed and boy it is not easy being brought up by a frustrated mother is not a good thing at all. When she got married, she just wanted to run from the abuse that she encountered from her mother - but she did not break the cycle. I am only important to my mother when she wants money! she lives under my roof but still that's not enough! Now that i am an adult again i got sworn at by my other sister in law and guess what? my mother is again on her side!

This leaves me with questions that i just cannot answer! like:
does my mother love me or what?
why does she choose other people over me?
I have friends and cousins that i get along with very well!
How can my own mother be like this?
she depends on me for everything but still!
I answer her back only because she provokes me and all this has made me to have such anger inside me! i am confused really!

She does not want to take hormone replacement pills, all she wants is to have a boyfriend "companion" but because she does not have one - then my life is hell, as it has always been...

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Well, obviously your mom and sister-in-law behaved cruelly, disgracefully, and criminally, and you deserve both proper counselling and maybe also to consult a lawyer. There is no possible excuse for what they did. See a counsellor and set yourself free from these horible people, so you can move ahead with your own life. Why are you still communicating with these awful in-laws and this pathetic excuse for a mother ? Leave them behind you

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Britty | 2007/08/14

Dear Blacksheep

Nothing you ever do will ever get these people to love you in the way you deserve. I could never understand why my brother and sister never wanted to bother with me and ran after then for years but one day I had enough and dumped them out of my life - its better as we now have a kind of relationship but I no longer want any thing from them and no longer worry about the lack of sibling love. I've learnt that families are not perfect and we just have to live with the imperfections if we can. Take care.

Reply to Britty
Posted by: sideways | 2007/08/14

I agree with CS. It's enough now. Get counselling to set you free and tell your mom to get out and get on with her own life. Simultaneously, tell your sister in law to never talk to you again or you will get the law to rid you of them. Stop the abuse now. Take the power back!!

Reply to sideways
Posted by: blacksheep | 2007/08/14

anon - she is not a psycho - she just has this thing against "Me" - my baby prefers her to me - they do have a bond - that i cannot deny! She just has this habit of shouting - which i hate! I am 29 and she will just scream my name and the neighbours can hear, so it just makes me wanna die! I guess there's two sides of the story - but i just don't understand what it is about me that my mother hates so much!!!

Reply to blacksheep
Posted by: Anon | 2007/08/14

You are no better than your mother leaving your child with her to bring up. You complain about her but still leave your own child there you need your head read.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: mandy | 2007/08/14

there is no chance of having a better relashionship with these evil people - why would you want one????

take them out of your life - the only thing you should be thinking of is your life..... you wont be around for ever either...... so why cut your own life short????

Reply to mandy
Posted by: blacksheep | 2007/08/14

Koos - she is still my mother but God forgive me - i can't stand being around her to a point where i've actually moved out and now the problem is that she is raising my child - i can already see her pattern starting. My child loves her and she doesn't want me to take my child with but i feel i should protect my child from her, how do i part ways with her and have minimal contact with her without feeling guilty! I know that some day she won't be around - that's why I would like to have a better relationship with her - but it seems impossible

Reply to blacksheep
Posted by: koos | 2007/08/14

she sounds like a useless piece of shit,get rid of her!i dont think you need her in your life!

Reply to koos

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