Our expert says:
As you seem to realize, you acted stupidly and cruelly towards her, and you don;'t deserve to be trusted by her. Get work --- even if it's stocking shelves at a supermarket, whatever, to earn at least SOME moeny to start paying her back --- apologise in your deeds, not so much in words, which seem to come cheaply to you. Don't expect her to trust you again unless and until you can prove yourself trustworthy by what you do in the coming yeasrs. BE trustworthy, rather than asking her to assume that you are. YOu don't need to be useless --- take over as many as possibl of the chores and work round the house, and be energetic about looking for any sort of work --- once you're in work it's easier to upgrade to better work than if you try to start with bigger jobs from no work at all.
And as others point out, now you know that your "friends" were not friends. Wait to find genuine friends.
Get a JOB first --- you've shown that you had little talent at starting your own business ; get a job where you can learn more about how businesses work, and earn moeny from the start, rather than expecting ohers to lend you ntheir hard=-earned money on a shaky scheme.
What genuine skills do you have ? Can you work as an odd-job man, doing repairs, etc ?
And don't over-dramatize it all --- you know that killing yourself wouldn't solve anyone's problems. DOn't try to impress ANYBODY --- look what happened the last time you tried that. Don't aim too high at the start, but work your way back up the ladder again.
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