Our expert says:
Apparently, he's the sort of person who will see no fault in anyhing he does, but always finds a way to blame others for his choices and his actions. That sort tends to have a bruiseless ego.
And he dares to criticise you as a mother ? If he was any good as a father and husband / partner, he wouldn't HAVE any girl-friends who could criticise you.
It may be better to have the matter of maintenance and access decided properly by a Maintenance COurt. And what matters isn't at all what he prefers, but what is best for BOTH his children by you.
I agree with Woman about the importance of not using children as weapons, but if in time the youngest one feels hurt that her Daddy shows less love for her than for her sister, I would calmly and in words she can understand, tell her that he's not very good at being a daddy, and that it's absolutely not her fault that he doesn't spend good time with her - that not being good at being a daddy, he concentrates his attempts on her sister - but that she is fully as loveable and worthy of anyone's love as her sister is.
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