Posted by: shadow | 2004/10/22

How do I get back

In the past year and a half my life has made drastic changes. Firstly my girlfriend of 9 years left me. I am over her totally now. I got a promotion at work, but it is hectic. My dilemma is that I have changed as a person. I have become this insecure, always stressed out guy. I am 27 years old and feel as if i am 50. Its crazy, I think about how layed back and positive i used to be, but just cant seem to find that guy......
Where do I start.

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Our expert says:
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Sounds like it'd be worth seeing a counsellor, to start the hunt for that guy you used to be or want to be. And good advice, generally, from all our other good folks.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Pete | 2004/10/22

Hi Shadow!
The picture you describe is very, very familiar. All the abovementioned advice (Straycat, NANA, Paul, NM, Mona, CS, etc) is smack bang on target. I can only add - Take this weekend and re-group. You are your own best friend. Close ranks and use this 48 hours to see the forest for the trees. You have a job - and a recent promotion to boot. What are the areas that you struggle with? There is always a better way to do things. Tough patches don't last - tough people do. Sunday evening you should have a strategy - even if you resolve only one item that you are struggling with. (E.g. the person that constantly complained about my inability to take proper care of HR issues - she now is the liaison person between my group and HR - and doing a great job. I now focus on the key issues that I require to make me successful). If a stratgegy does not work at first, try a different approach or take the next item on your list.

Good luck - (I'd give everything I have - except my kids and maayyybeee my wife - to be 27 again!!)


Reply to Pete
Posted by: Straycat | 2004/10/22

Find something you can do, hobbie,sport that take your mind off things... individual or with other people.... if your near the coast, try surfing .... or up country, mountain biking.. or similiar stuff.. Even just taking a walk...exercise is a great way.. to take your mind off things ........ you'll feel alot better :)


Reply to Straycat
Posted by: NANA | 2004/10/22

Hello Shadow
I think you have finally grown up! This is the way all adults feel. The fact that you got a promotion and that things are hectic is great news! Many of us work far better under some sort of pressure. Do you think you would have got a promotion is you were still "layed back"? Not so! Obviously someone is recognising that you are busy and in that way life is always Hectic! Enjoy.

Reply to NANA
Posted by: NM | 2004/10/22

Hi Shadow,

You can start by making some time for YOURSELF! Try to go to the gym after work - that usually helps!! You need to find a way to switch off after work.

Hang in there....we all change at some point in our lives - think it's called growing up :)

Reply to NM
Posted by: Mona | 2004/10/22

I think a couple of weeks holiday away from home might bring him back...

Reply to Mona
Posted by: Paul | 2004/10/22

Perhaps you've just grown up? I always stress and I think stress to some degree about work and performance is a good thing.

Reply to Paul

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