Posted by: Sunrise | 2006/04/21

How do I do this? (Thoughts and opinions please)

This is a little lengthy, but I'd appriciate your thoughts.

I have finally come to the decision to break up with my boyfriend of 9 months for someone else, and I hate it. But I know that while he has been away for 4 months I have been cheating and he doesn't deserve that. I can't tell him I cheated because I'd hate to watch him hurting, and I can't forget about what I did because things are so complicated now. He won't be home again until October, that's 6 months. And the guy I am leaving him for and I are already considering getting an apartment because we really need out of our parents houses. I had something very serious and wonderfully amazing with my boyfriend, but things started falling apart when he left home for work. We don't talk much and he only got to visit for one weekend. I see myself having so much more of a future with him. I'll start my nursing classes and we both work, and wanted to get a place together very soon. I know my future would be better with him, we would be happy, and able to support ourselves and buy the things we want/need. With my newer bf we already have money issues and we're not even in our own place yet. We'll HAVE to get an apartment because we can't afford a house, my job doesn't pay well and he's working on FINDING a job. We have bad habits to feed because we smoke marijuana on a daily basis. Don't ask what it is I like in this relationship, but there's something. I'm a realtionship addict, and with my long-term boyfriend gone for 10 months, there is no way I could remain loyal and faithful if we can't even see eachother and hardly talk. But I've made the decision to leave my wonderfully amazing bf, because he deserves someone who will can be faithful to him, and I deserve someone who'll take the time to be there. I know that I honestly love him, I just have problems of my own to deal with, and maybe our personalities are a little bit too oppisite for a relationship. It hurts me to hurt him anymore, but by ending it and not telling him anything, and as much as I hate to do it, I think I am doing the right thing. But yesterday was his birthday, and I missed his call and wouldn't have told him on his birthday, what should I do???

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Our users say:
Posted by: happy | 2006/04/22

this is going to sound hasrh but i dont mean it to upset you i think you are selfish, what you did to your boyfriend was wrong i am also a relationship addict and i have been with the same guy for four year its long i know, if you really love someone, you will go out of your way to do what you can to keep your relationship alive, i sure your boyfriend misses you very much while he is away.

as for your new boyfriend i think it is moraly wrong of him to even think of being with you while you are in a relationship!!!

you should have left your boyfreind before you started sleeping around. he sounds like a good guy who i willing to make a future for you and him.

what does this new guy have to offer nothing... you will nine out of ten land up supporting his ass. (no offence). you need to sort yourself out first before you can use the term love, at the moment you are taking alot of peoples emotions for a ride including your own. sit down a swallow a reality pill you in the big world you cant go around sleeping with different people with the std and aids rate being so high.

if you do decide to leave tell your boyfriend the truth be honest. its all in your hands now :-)

Reply to happy
Posted by: D | 2006/04/21

crush his heart and serve it him on ice. Just wait a week or two after his birthday.
Your concept of love is weird. I am a relationship addict aswell but if i love the person, i want to be with them and stay with them, not choose another persopn because i don't see them now and again.

Reply to D
Posted by: LL | 2006/04/21

I personally do not believe that you can deliberately hurt someone if you "honestly love them".
You should have thought about the consequences that cheating brings about.
You have betaryed him and you still want to lie further to get out of your relationship.
Your b/f deserves to learn to truth but that is your decision to make.
I understand that him being away puts strain on your relationship and makes you lonely but thats never a reason to cheat.

Regarding your New B/f.....the only thing that connects you both is that he is with you right now and you b/f is not...
You seem to have a problem with being alone.
Why not see a shrink, and sort out your issues instead of jumping from one relationship to the next..

Start acting like an adult and clean yourself up!

Reply to LL

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