Our expert says:
Sounds like when it gets to paying into his savings, you're going rather far for such a new relationship --- already you're being raely kind and helpful. Surely he can talk with whatever this savings arrangement is, and explain what has happened regarding the accident, and make a plan that avoids the need for payments right now ? You're right, you have no certainty of getting any of your money back. And its sheer rubbish that he insists on expensive perfumes --- if he's too sick to work, he's too sick to wear perfumes, nor does he need ANY new clothes, let alone expensive ones, and he shouldn't indulge in other expensive tastes he can't afford.
Just remind him calmly that ANYTHING he demands is something he absolutely can't have. and that you are already being enormously generous, owe him nothing, and can't spoil him in this greedy way.
Youi're being too generous, and not selfish at all. And the masage and "pother pratices" ? HE IS USING YOU AND EXPLOITING YOU. And from the sound of it he is probably exaggerating his disability --- why on earth would he want to get better and return to work, with a live-in lover, slave and masseur who buys him expensive gifts ?
Moving back to your place is NOT unacceptable. Tell him you need to speak to his doctor about just how handicapped he actually is, and as soon as he can fend for himself you ARE moving back ; and NO more presents or needless luxuries. And the massage etc stops now. If he has the energy and strength for other practices, he can manage to work, as well. Stop feeling sorry for him and look after and protect yourself.
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