Posted by: Louise | 2009/07/26

How do I deal with this break-up

I am interested to hear wether any one has had the kind of break-up I had and how they coped, because I am not. After a number of years I was informed that Mr V needs space! He left - no fights, no drama. Only for me to find out that he is in an active relationship with a lady who lives in the same apartment building as we did. Whilst he moved to another building, she would " smuggle"  him into the our building in her car. Less that 6 weeks later he is living with her. Sad thing though is that I thought we had a good and close relationship. He did not even take a photograph or any gift that I gave him when he left. On discussing him leaving it was all about having to sort himself out, checking his relationship with his children (divorced a few years ago) and that please can we be friends!
How does one deal with this mess!

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Our expert says:
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Then, unless it is a much bigger apartment, he not only deceived you about the relationship, but the "space " he wanted was someone else's. He now seems unlikely to be worthwhile as a friend, and the new woman needs to remember ( though you could never tell her or convince her ) that if this is how he treated you, she cn't expect any better. Don't let him try to pretend to be a "friend" after all this --- you ned to move on, and this will be hampered by repeated further contacts with him. He has proved who and what he is, and there's nothing more of value for you there. Leave him to use her, and move forward with your own life

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Our users say:
Posted by: chu | 2009/07/28

leave him alone dont run after him,do something with ur life join a gym,go out with ur friends,be more beautiful and smile to urself donnt be agry with urself u hav done nothing wrong men are like that my dear,leave him alone and move on with ur beautiful life,wish u all the best

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Posted by: Really | 2009/07/27

He is wasting your time and will make your " move on"  process hard to deal with, especially if he still wants to be friends and yet still visit the other woman in your building. Rather, try and move on without him in the picture and in time, you will be able to get on without him.

Some people can be selfish and gathering from what you have mentioned about him, it seems, it is easy for him to just move on... he' s divorced, left you and has still managed to warm his way into some other woman' s hands already.. he is just a user and looser... lose him, PERIOD! Try and find something to keep you busy, seek therapy to get over him if you have to, but for future sanity... move on...without him.

All the best!

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