Our expert says:
Sounds like your friend is really not skilled in natural life-skills and problem-solving, and prefers to have someone like you nintervene and help, rather than in gaining those skills herself.
One problem of conflict with the person kindly offering a place to stay can be simple misfortune, but such a series of identical problems suggests she is very much the cause of these events, and needs to take far more personal responsibility for the situations she creates around herself. And as you suggest, she needs to take effective action to help herself, instead of whining to others.
Not taking personal responsibility for her bad choices and behaviours sounds like a common theme through all this. Nobody forced her to become a single mother, or to squabble with so many hosts, and surely at least some of her work problems could have been avoided.
For her to neglect you except when she needs help is shabby. Don't feel any obligation either to listen to her whining or to take her into your home. Suggests that she instead seek counselling, and talk with ( and stay with ) her fair-weather friends. Tell her you have your own problems and needs, and must concentrate on coping with your own affairs and pregnancy. Tell her you have done your best over the years to be helpful, and feel unable to come up with any fresh ideas or ways to help, and hope that some of her other friends may have more useful suggestions. Wish her well and say goodbye.
Don't be apologetic nor unpleasant, but assertive and firm. Do not acept her invitations to feel guilty. Maybe imply that she is one of several people you have previously helped, and who you are now having to withdraw from, to deal with your own needs.
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