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Question
Posted by: NNa | 2003/03/06

How can i help him?

MY BOYFRIEND IS GOING THROUGH DIVORCE AFTER FINDING OUT THAT HIS WIFE IS HAVING ANOTHER MAN'S CHILD.THE WIFE FEEL PREGNANT WHEN HE WAS AWAY FROM HOME AND ALSO THE TEST PROVED THAT IT IS NOT HIS BABY.BUT NOW THE FAMILY DOES NOT WANT HIM TO DIVORCE THAT HE SHOULD FORGIVE AND FORGET.REFUSING TO DO SO THEY HAVE CUT HIM OUT OF THEIR LIVES.AND AS A RESULT I THINK HE IS FALLING INTO DEPRESION.HE IS ALWAYS SICK ESPECIALY WHEN THE WIFE CAN CALL MAKING ALL THE DEMANDS CAUSE THEY HAVE A CHILD TOGETHER. TODAY WILL BE TOOTHACHE,NEXT IT WILL BE TOMACH BUG NEXT IT WILL BE SOMETHING ELSE.HIS FAMILY DOES NOT WANT TO GIVE HIM ANY SUPPORT AND MORE THAN ANYTHING ON MONETARY TERMS.HE IS MANAGING FAMILY'S BUSSINES.HEY EVEN TOOK THE CAR HE WAS USING WHICH BELONGED TO THE FAMILY COMPANY.

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Our expert says:
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NA, it sounds as if the family is being savagely cruel. Nobody has the right to insist that someone else "must" forgive others for something. It's pathetically easy for us to forgive, who haven't suffered what the other person has experienced. In the circumstances you describe, it is entirely justifiable and understandable that a man would divorce his wife. It isn't the only choice open to him, and others might well be prepared to forgive and work for haling the relationship.
And the wife has no right at all to be calling on him to assist her wit the pregnancy --- why doesn't she call the man who made her pregnant, and get him to take the responsibility that is, properly, his ?
It sounds as if, with the complication of the family business / car etc, he also ought to be sure to get really good legal advice, to protect his interests. If his family is so fond of the promiscuous wife, why don't they marry her and care for her, instead of bulling the victim of her behaviour ?

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