Our expert says:
I get really angry with the number of idiots who themselves have never had anything significant to forgive, who keep lecturing life's victims about how it is our duty to forgive the nasty cruel perpatrators. NONSENSE ! You are under no obligation to forgive a cruel and dishonest Ex at all --- at least not in the sense of telling him that he is forgiven ( which would only encourage him to use other women as unpleasantly ), or in the sense of decidign that what he did was OK r not probelmatic.
But DO, by all means, work on "forgiving" in the private sense of yourself letting go of the grievance, and setting yourself free from the bonds of bitterness that are still typing you to him and his hurtfulness. Move on with your life, and simply abandon the resentment and anger about what he did --- yes, he did it, and he is wicked, but he is in your past and not your present or future, and he won't be allowed to do anything like that to you again.
Maybe make a ceremony of it, write a few pages of all your anger and bitterness against him, expressing it passionately on paper ; then go into the garden or park and burn that letter, letting your bad feelings evaporate like the smoke.
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