Posted by: Jessica | 2004/10/14

How bad is this?-mother in law problems

Hi! Me and my fiance was living together for almost 2yrears.before we moved in together his family was already living with him.He pays for everythign in the house and the house itself.He even has to provide them with money,when they want.i coudnt stand living with his family anymore and decided to move out.Now i am 4months pregnant with his child.He still wants to get married and specially now more than ever.The reason why i dont want to get married is because of his family.They will always burdon him for some or other reason.They have no cencidiration for his feelings and swears at him freely yet he keeps on doing what he does.I am not on speaking terms with his family and want absolutelly nothing to do with them.I made it very clear to him that i dont want his mother or family anywhere near me or my child.We didnt even bother telling them that i am pregnant.they always have nasty remarks but he never really puts a stop to it.he doesnt even want to tell them how the situation is and that they have to move out.According to him they cant afford it and he hs to look after them,even if they are so rude towards him.

He is planning on paying of his current house and then buying another house where me him and our child will live.I have no intension of marry him though.even though i love him to bits.According to me,and i might be wrong,a husband/father will do anythign in his rwach for his wife and kids.I just dont see that.he is very suportive and does nothign wrong.Its just that i dont feel i can marry him with his baggage and i also know that he will never be rid of his baggage.

I am aware that i am sounding like a total bitch.but thats how i feel.

Any comments please.I would like to know what doc and others think of this.

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Our expert says:
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Make it clear to him, that you only have a possible interest in marrying hinm, not his entire family of greedy and lazy layabouts. There's a big difference between loving your family, and insisting on being a slave and servant to them. And tell him that he seems to have so much emotional baggage that you'd like him to join you in premaritcal / relationship / couples counselling, eg through FAMSA.

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Our users say:
Posted by: listen | 2004/10/14

lady, you are doing a right thing by telling him that you won't saty with his family,
if he doesn't understand tell him that it's over buit i don't see nay reason for you not wanting to marry him whilst he shows u that he loves u, all men are the same they tend to love their familes no matter,what. !!!!!

i once was in that situation but i managed to win my hubby over them coz thay might ruin your life and his and your coming child, dont' give them a chance but you don't do the right thing if you're not on speaking terms, show them that u love them you don't hate them na d u don't like the fact that come between you and your finacee.
good luck.

if your hubby really loves u then he'll listen to you.

Reply to listen

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