Our expert says:
It sounds as though your mom may well suspect something of what is happening, and feels bad at being distant and not able to help you. Maybe your sister has, either deliberately or accidentally, somehow hinted at what the situation is.
Ask the hospice, and cansa, to provide a counsellor both to help you decide how to talk to her about this ( I always prefer us to see it as "talking about" rather than "telling" ) and perhaps even to join you in that first encounter with her, to discuss it.
There is no alternative to telling her the truth --- she will know when she sees you, or if you evade letting her see you, and eventually the fact will be impossible to hide. And then she received BOTh the bad news, AND a message that somehow she wasdn't trusted to handle the bad news, And that she was not allowed, after the first shock of the news, to help in anyway to comfort you, or to talk with you as she doubtless would want to do. Recognize your mother's rights too, and that she too may be able, espeially with your help, to come to terms with this, as you have done.
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