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Posted by: Candy | 2007/03/28

Hooker vs. Shrink

Dear Doc

I'm new to your forum and I see from various posts that you have been away for medical reasons. Welcome back and good luck with your recovery.

I am a prostitute. Its okay to say negative things if you like, I don't mind and I can assure that I have heard it all before so I am like immune. Thats not why I am writing anyway as I am seeing a good shrink. I don't know how much you know about my business and what goes through peoples minds but maybe you researched and read about it. Often men come and see me but they end up talking to me only, nothing else. I feel sorry for them sometimes, not always, seeing them sitting on the edge of the bed with one sock off and a sad expression.

They are glad to talk and I've learnt the right things to say at the time but I know it only makes them feel better for a while. Can a shrink help them? I used to think that they tell me things because they think I either stupid or a stranger or its safe to tell me because I can't tell anyone else. I hear about fraud that they commit and get away with but are feeling bad (but not bad enough hey!), that their wives are having affairs, or that their wife is ill with cancer or that eldest son is secretely gay. I say "shame" a lot and give them a whiskey and they talk. Sometimes they cry, softly, and apoligise. They pay me before and then start talking while undressing and then get dressed and tip me before leaving. So its easy money but I feel that they need help. Should I recommend that they see someone like you? Is it my business? Theres a few that I see regularly so its like steady money but they are getting worse. They drink more and more. One comes to see me and just sits there, wanting me to sit on his lap until he leaves. He looks sad. I don't even say shame any more as I don't know what his problem is or why he comes to see me every week. I talk a lot, about rubbish, anything to fill the time. Every time he goes I think thats the last of him but he comes back every week. What do you think doc?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Thanks, Candy !
Now, I don't LIKE saying negative things, and I'm not in any hurry to say anything negaive about you. As a prostitute with thoughtful intelligence, you'll understand why many people, understandably, have strongly negative feelings about your line of work.
I understand from numerous surveyrs and reports that indeed it is common that men who visit a prostitute only or mainly want to talk --- and it is sad that they apparently feel so unable to talk to someone who is a friend or family-member. Barmen / bar staff report very similar experiences.
And you have correctly identified one of the important variables here --- its' not hard to say something soothing ( and simply allowing them to talk is in itself proven to be helpful ) --- but the soothing isn't lasting in its effect --- that's where proper counselling aims to be different. Because with proper training one can more readily understand what's wrong, and why, and how it could be remedied, a shrink / professional counsellor, can be more useful.
I don't see anything wrong with you gently suggesting that a client should seriously consider seeing a counsellor for more lasting help --- you can do it in a manner which doesn't suggest that you yourself are rejecting them, but as a sugegsted supplement.
Interesting idea about the internet peep show. I wonder if i'd work for an internet session with a shrink or counsellor ? ;}

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Our users say:
Posted by: Maria | 2007/03/28

Hi Candy, you've really changed my opinion of women in your line of work through these posts. Perhaps you should study Psychology, then you can offer a one-stop-service. ;) Just kidding.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: C. | 2007/03/28

Yes Candy, some men said just that. It drove them wild (WTF?!).

Well, hope you have a wonderfull relaxing evening. Have a glass of wine, kick back with your favourite tv show / chocolate bar / pet ag whatever, and just forget about everything that makes you sad.

See you tomorrow.

Reply to C.
Posted by: Candy | 2007/03/28

Ok. The rest of my day is a little busy so I cant talk long. I didn't think I'll enjoy this so much - so much more interesting than my 'work'. C., you are lucky to be constant with your weight. I have to really sweat in the gym to stay where I am at 56 kgs. Ha ha, I like what you said about your boobs - I don't have those pencil rubber nips but I know men like them and I sometimes wonder if they don't think they are sucking a small dick. Ness, last suggestion is that you talk really dirty, swearing and stuff, this gets some men going.

Hope I have time to pop before you all leave but I doubt it.

Reply to Candy
Posted by: Ness | 2007/03/28

Ok C, you need to pre warn people, I was reading your post and pictured the scene ..... i may need theoropy LOL x

Candy, I had a boyfriend who was an actor and he loved to role play, but i just could not keep a straight face. It was too funny.

Reply to Ness
Posted by: C. | 2007/03/28

No, not the first third! About the first quarter. Still big.

Reply to C.
Posted by: C. | 2007/03/28

Candy, I weighed around 65, 68 my entire adult life and have titties to die for, or so many if not all of them said. I have a strange 'defect' if you can call it that, which makes my nipples larger than normal, you know, the part that stands up when it's cold? It's not like a toddlers peenis or anything lol, but let's say they're about twice the size of a normal nipple, like the first third of your middle finger about. I ain't shy, men LOVE(D) them.

Hehe.

Reply to C.
Posted by: Candy | 2007/03/28

I have a 2:30 so this is quick one. Do you guys try dressing up and role play. Some guys that come in here want me to be a nun/nurse/teacher/librarian/ and some want blindfold me so I can't see their expressions and some want me to lay as if I in a coma and not interact at all. Some guys want to call me Melissa/Katy/Ursula - I guess these are people they know.

Later.

Reply to Candy
Posted by: Ness | 2007/03/28

I have suggested the porn thing but he's not really a porn kind of person (not yet) I get the feeling he could have a very naughty side, its just a matter of "slowly catch a monkey" teasing it out of him....

Reply to Ness
Posted by: Candy | 2007/03/28

Ness, do you guys watch any porn? Maybe you can get some inspiration from that. And yes, some of the regulars have specific routines that they keep too. Some are like John and they experiment but mostly stick to what they like.

Reply to Candy
Posted by: Ness | 2007/03/28

C, absolutely the problem was that it was more like one of my childs hissy fits than a fight back, I have one child throwing tantrums I don't need another. After talking we established that because he has moved into my home he is kinda walking on eggshells which explains alot so he actually fet better once I explained thats its his home now too, that I am totally committed to making things work between us therefore he can relax.

Candy, hmmm...... have you got those clients that are like "paint by numbers"? set in the routine and thats the way its done? Well thats my one. I need to find a way to break him out of his habit. I think I will suggest a game of strip poker of something, something that can start off gentle and move into the relms of illegal in some third world countries...LOL

Reply to Ness
Posted by: Candy | 2007/03/28

How much did you weigh when you were a working girl C.? I have to go to gym everyday to keep everything looking good. But my age is against me and in 4 years or so I'll be too old for this game but its hard work to look good all the time.

Reply to Candy
Posted by: C. | 2007/03/28

That sounds nice Candy, thing is, there won't be any space in once I'm in. LOL. But, I have lost 2 kg's in the past three days, so after a couple more months, we'll both fit with space for some romping domping. Oh, can't freaking wait! For now, the shower will have to do. Love the water running over us, kissing, playing . . . Those were the days, my friend.

Reply to C.
Posted by: Gloomer | 2007/03/28

Gotta love the clicks body chocolate!

And take sugar to bed with you.

Reply to Gloomer
Posted by: C. | 2007/03/28

Umm, make that POODLE, a pissing POODLE.

Reply to C.
Posted by: Candy | 2007/03/28

I have no children so I can't help there but maybe you should go and see the little snip and give her a good telling off. That sounds only a little helpful but maybe try it.

Men are funny. If your man is not showing any interest perhaps you shouldn't take it personally. Maybe he has got work pressures. Perhaps you run a bath for both of you and have a drink or two in it with, no sex pressure. After a couple of drinks you can tell him you'll wash him with your hands and then maybe soap all the right bits. Some men like to be fussed over and maybe you can have some fun in the bath.

Reply to Candy
Posted by: C. | 2007/03/28

Ness, just an observation. You said you wanted your man to be less like a pissing poople and becoming more assertive, right? Yet the moment he tried to stand up you just trew him straight down again. Wouldn't it have been better to, at that very moment, said Yes! You see? Now that's what I'm talking about! Get mad and show it! Stand up for what you believe in! Think about you for a moment and forget what others will think of you. And then as an afterthought But not with me. In this house I'm still the alpha and omega. Don't know if that's how you want it, but perhaps you can use it as a 'template' to work from.
My husband used to be a -|- , but he's much better after I told him what I told you. I got mad if he didn't. They CAN change that aspect of their life only to become much happier and respected humans.

Reply to C.
Posted by: Ness | 2007/03/28

Oh and no chinesse smiles, I'm 34 years old and lost that flexibility years ago. Stuff like that just pulls a mussel and not the one i want LOL

Reply to Ness
Posted by: Ness | 2007/03/28

Yup, I feeling so fed up today. My daughters teacher is driving me to distraction, (first year out of varsity, has no kids but thinks she's an expert) If she sends me one more letter about my daughters name badge being missing or lack of consentration (the child is 8, its her job to ignore you) I will shove it down her thoat! hmmmm, remain calm and move away from all sharp objects.

Anyway, had a great chat with the man last night but he is still not coming near me, give me something exciting to do. My daughter is off to her dads tonight so I think we can swing from the chanderliers.

Reply to Ness
Posted by: RMC | 2007/03/28

Well if it is a spoof it has really kept us entertained and been a very good one!

Almost make me think Candy is dogman!

Reply to RMC
Posted by: Candy | 2007/03/28

No C. I wrote in yesterday becasue of the things he said but I've been reading this forum for a few days now.

Reply to Candy
Posted by: John | 2007/03/28

I see. Well, if you want free market research I would't use it. I'm a hands-on man, I like to get close to the action. But good luck with that anyway.

Reply to John
Posted by: Candy | 2007/03/28

Yes Ness, I know. That time of the month means so many different things to different people hey.

John, its part of the business. In my world everything is going hi-tech so I'm thinking about doing a internet peep shows. Big business in the US but not so much here so I'm trying it out. I'll have my set-up within a week or so and then I'll see how it goes.

Reply to Candy
Posted by: C. | 2007/03/28

And here I was thinking John and Candy was one and the same person! Seeing as Candy just happened to appear on the exact same day pros were discussed, and they both caught our imaginations, and both had a good writing style.

But now I see my mistake as John takes on Candy for a bit of cross examination.

Reply to C.
Posted by: Ness | 2007/03/28

LOL I know the feeling but in my case the roaches are the debt collectors!!! They tend to screw me over too

Reply to Ness
Posted by: John | 2007/03/28

Er, okay, then (whatdidIdonow?) why does a hooker need ADSL?

Reply to John
Posted by: Candy | 2007/03/28

Ask. But keep your sarcie comments to yourself.

Reply to Candy
Posted by: John | 2007/03/28

Ms Candy ma'am, can I ask a question without getting my butt kicked?

Reply to John
Posted by: Candy | 2007/03/28

Hello Ness. It makes me smile to think I made you laugh. I'm having a rotten day today. I feel a bit low and don't even ask about the loonies I've seen so far today. Month-end brings the -|- roaches out. These the guys that want to really get some bang for their buck. So I dread the days between the 25th and the 5th and then it settles down and to normal. But thats business I suppose.

Reply to Candy
Posted by: Ness | 2007/03/28

Hello Candy, good to have you back. Laughed my head off last night thinking about the chinese smile! x

Reply to Ness
Posted by: Candy | 2007/03/28

Depends. I charge R350 for half and hour and R500 for an hour. I pay R400 for about 45 mins with my shrink. So it depends on how many people come and see me I suppose.

Reply to Candy
Posted by: RMC | 2007/03/28

Candy - who costs more - you or a shrink? I'm not being sarcastic, I'd really like to know!

Reply to RMC

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