Our expert says:
The reacions you describe, from his other friends, and family, confirm that your view of him and his problems , is nothing unqiue or idiosyncratic, but one widely shared by others who have tried to understand and care for him. DO NOT FALTER. If it was all your fault --- how did you manage to be so brilliantly malignant as to foul up his relationship with all his family and other friends ? If you're that tyalented, why aren't you a politician ?
Notice the irony in your comment that you feel if you don't give in to him, "he will kill himself again" ? That's up to him, and his choice --- it is NOT a reason for you to sacrifice your happiness and freedom to enable him to return and compound your own problems AND HIS. It would not help him. There's no way you could give him a roof over his head and nothing more --- he would already have wormed his way back in, by then. He does have alternatives, like the Salvation Army and other church groups, for instance, which he is choosing not to explore, because he is confident that he can force you to give in to his wishes.
He is your baby's father by accident of biology, but does not seem to have managed to be any real father in terms of providing, emotionally, financially, or in any other way, for the child. If he thinks it's so easy for you just because you have a job --- then let him get himself a job, and have it easy for him, too.
You are allowing him to have far too much communication with you, allowing him the means to manipulate you further. Cut off that communication. Giving in to him now, giving him a place to stay, will reinforce all of his refusals to take proper care of himself. As Chelle says, it will confirm to him that you will always f\provide for him, is he whines enough and if he becomes violent --- those lessons would be bad for him, and you, if reinforced. He HAS to take responsibility for his own life and choices.
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