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Question
Posted by: tboz | 2004/03/04

HIV test

I need someone to pray for me, I so scared, yesterday I wasn't feeling well and so i decided to go to the doctor after work got there and they did some test, Haemoglobia, urine etc but they couldn't find anything wrong with me. I then decided to take the leap and do an HIV/AIds test. Well I did it and right now i'm so scared and to add to my stress , my man whom was with me at that time decided to leave me at the doctors ( he claims that he's scared of blood) and this morning he tells me that i have excluded him from the whole thing, we've suppose to have done the HIV test together as a couple, go to counselling together and so forth. I feel he's not suportive right now and i'm scared that he might be hiding something from me. The last time i had an AIDS test was in November and it was negative, well i was single then. I have asked a close friend of mine to go with me to the doctors after work cause i can't go alone and my man has bluntly refused to go with me. l don't think i can wait till 17h30..... I'm freaking out here. Please can someone talk to me.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dear tboz,
Well, the system is playign up again, so the brilliant response I wrote to you earlier, has disappeared into the wwb.
I'm puzzled by your bf's excuse for dumping you at the doctors, that he doesn't like blood ( I guess one would have to be much more worried about a bf who DID like blood ) --- because he wouldn't usually be exposed to any while with you in the waiting room. Maybe it's his own blood he's afraid of ? The unkown is always the hardest thing to cope with, because there's no way of choosing what's needed. Whatever the result, you'll have something more definite to cope with, and will be able to handle it. But it DOES sound like a good idea for him to get tested asap. Even having his own sample taken shouldn't be too frightening for him, and this is not a valid excuse when the test results could be so vital to your life and health.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: merce | 2004/03/05

Hi Tboz

Live the bastard sweety. He is not worth the energy, the time and your life. A man who beats a woman its not a man but a coward. What is wrong with knowing your status. He definitely knows something. Girl get the hell out of this relationship before he hurts you. If a man beats you once, it will become a norm and he will beat you always. So dont give him this opportunity.And girl dont listen to women who instead of giving you advice they become nasty!!! Dont listen to them!!! Good luck

Reply to merce
Posted by: tboz | 2004/03/05

Moi

Where's the HIV forum, thanks again for your message i'll make sure that i go today or tomorrow for my test.. i am really really scared now. but will keep you posted.
thank you for everything.

Reply to tboz
Posted by: Moi | 2004/03/05

I think NA and Tia are being real BITCHES!!! You guys should stop pointing fingers and put yourselves in Tboz position.Remember that things are easier said than done.Right now i think Tboz needs some good support and thats why she is reaching out on this forum.The last thing she needs is your nasty remarks and comments.Ofcourse she should not allow him to beat her up duuuh!
Tboz you need to prepare yourself for the worst because i truly feel that your boyfriend has either put you at risk or already knows that he is positive.When you are mentally prepared, go for your results and deal with that first.Forget about your boyfriend and what he wants and put yourself first.I really hope that you are negative so that you can have the strength to deal with your abusive boyfriend.Either get rid of him if he doesn't want to seek help.It all starts with small things and you never know what he can do to you later.

I didn't finish my story yesterday.Well, my ex told me to keep the results to myself and not bother him.That made me really scared so i delayed going to get them.The reason why i left him was because he was abusive.It all started with a slap and as years went by he got worse.By staying with him and taking him back evrytime he cried sorry, i was giving him more power over me.The only way to stop the abuse for me was to leave him.I had lost my self confidence and he made me feel like no one would love me.I had to regain myself and just as i was getting back on my feet and in love with someone else, i found out that i am hiv+.I hate the bastard for destroying my life.He might have just as well beaten me to death coz he's actually killed me.But i'm getting past the anger and enjoying hearing him still want me back after 3 years.He will never be happy with anyone.NEVER! and its all his fault.I have moved on with my life and living positively now.I know for a fact that there are amazing medical advances and i will live a long and fulfilled life without him and with hiv.Don't be scared girl.Know your status and put your house in order.God Bless and Good Luck.Ignore the nasty comments from nasty people.If you would like to talk more then go to the hiv forum.You will get great advice and encouragement.

Reply to Moi
Posted by: Tia | 2004/03/05

u fool, u still call the bastard yo boyfriend. Leave him, u not his punching bag, women like u make me sick. He's obviously hiding something, why else would he beat u up. It's better 2 b single and happy than................ I suggest u dump the dog.

Reply to Tia
Posted by: NA | 2004/03/05

What? beat you up? I cannot believe this.......It's woman like you that give men the idea that women like to be beaten. You sound Ok with it. A man who beats a women does not have respect for himself and is likely to have the deadly virus. How did you end up with such a fool. Love yourself enough to know your status.

Reply to NA
Posted by: tboz | 2004/03/05

Well i meant to go to the doctor yesterday but i did, my boyfriend refused to let me go. He took my car keys and as if he knows something that i don't. Last night we had a huge fight about this aids test and other stuff and eventually it ended up with him spraying liquid bullet spray on my eyes and beating me up for doing the test without his consent. I'm really scared for my life right now and i'm scared of him. I was thinking of going to the doctor during my lunch time and go fetch my results in that way he won't know.

Reply to tboz
Posted by: merce | 2004/03/04

No one is ever ready for the results of an Aids test. Its like a life sentence. Sweety its either you know now or it happens that you fall pregnant and you obviously know that if you fall pregnant automatically you have to go for blood tests and they tell you then that you are HIV how are you going to feel. So I think you are very brave to take that chance now and know your status now. May God be with you and good luck sweety

Reply to merce
Posted by: Tboz | 2004/03/04

Thanks Merce and Moi for your support i will tell you guys tomorrow about my results... its seems like the day is going to slow today and i'm really anxious. The fear of the uknown is killing me right now, i wish this day was over so that i can leave with my fate. Its not like i don't trust my boyfriend but i don't know where he's been you know so that's the scary part. Since November we have been putting off going for an aids test and i just had to do it yesterday... i'm not sure whether i'm physical and pyschologically ready for the results though. But hey it had to be done

Reply to Tboz
Posted by: Tboz | 2004/03/04

Thanks Merce and Moi for your support i will tell you guys tomorrow about my results... its seems like the day is going to slow today and i'm really anxious. The fear of the uknown is killing me right now, i wish this day was over so that i can leave with my fate. Its not like i don't trust my boyfriend but i don't know where he's been you know so that's the scary part. Since November we have been putting off going for an aids test and i just had to do it yesterday... i'm not sure whether i'm physical and pyschologically ready for the results.

Reply to Tboz
Posted by: Tboz | 2004/03/04

Thanks Merce and Moi for your support i will tell you guys tomorrow about my results... its seems like the day is going to slow today and i'm really anxious. The fear of the uknown is killing me right now, i wish this day was over so that i can leave with my fate. Its not like i don't trust my boyfriend but i don't know where he's been you know so that's the scary part. Since November we have been putting off going for an aids test and i just had to do yesterday... i'm not sure whether i'm physical and pyschologically ready for the results.

Reply to Tboz
Posted by: Moi | 2004/03/04

I know how scared you must be but its best that you know.Your man is acting like a typical man.I don't understand why men run away at such times.Mine also just took me to the doctors and told me to phone him when i'm done so he can pick me up.Then he told me that he doesn't want to know the results no matter what they are.By then we had already broken up but we were still freinds.I will tell you the rest of the story tomorrow after you get your results.I wish Good Luck.Remember that no matter what the results are,GOD LOVES YOU!!!Hear from you tomorrow right???

Reply to Moi
Posted by: merce | 2004/03/04

I did an HIV test and I was so scared. I had a running stomach. I was running to the toilet for almost the whole day I couldn't even sit still. I just wanted to alone. I even thought about my exes those who I have even forgotten about. I was scared, impatient to everybody that day but at the end of the day when I got the results I was proud of myself for being so brave and courageous. But if you know yourself and trust your man then you got nothing to worry about. It not that your man doesnt want to support you he is also worried about the results and he doesn't want you to see. I am sure wherever he is he also thinking about you and hoping that the results are negative.

Reply to merce

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