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Question
Posted by: ***/? | 2007/12/14

his divorse

I am involved with a man that is still married. We have been living together for about 5 months now. He is trying to get divorsed, but his wife is making it impossible coz she wont sign the papers.
(She know that we are living together.)
Their marraige was over long before he left - and did not leave because of me!
I am jsut having a tough time dealing with this divorse proceedure!
He will go and see his lawyer - but doesnt bother to follow up to see if the new papers have been sent to her lawyer. Then she sends papers back and it takes him forever to go see his lawyer again...
It just drives me a bit mad - coz for someone who so desperately wants to get divorsed - he procrastinates so much!!
We land up fighting often because of his procrastination

I cant seem to relax about this and feel edgy all the time!
What can i do to calm myself before i completely ruin our relationship??
We dont fight about anythign else - its just this stupid divorse!!!

He also seems so scared of her and will never stand up to her!!??

Pelase give me some advise?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

By living with you while still married to her, he is hardly encouraging her to sign the papers and make things easy for you or him --- what was the reason for such a terrible hurry to live together ? It sounds ominously as though he is dragging his heels and ambivalent about finishing the divorce process. Someone truly desperate to get divorced, does NOT procrastinate. COuld you see a relationshiop counsellor together ? ( If you don't work out whatever lies at the bottom of this, it'll trouble your relationship even after the divorce). Or at least see a personal counsellor for yourself

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Our users say:
Posted by: Rika | 2007/12/19

It sounds to me as if you will have to give him an ultimatum ... tell him that you are moving out (or throw him out) until his divorce is finalised. If he is serious about you, he will make a plan to get this over and done with ASAP.

BTW ... I was in the same situation. He eventually got divorced after two years, but stared feeling guilty about his kids, and ended up re-marrying her and dumping me. I guess he never loved me as much as he said he did.

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