Our expert says:
How's WHAT hanging with me ? There are several alternatives ! :}
Interesting observation about how being busy and productive helps improve your mood. I think many people do indeed have the problem that they don't have enough to do, allowing them far too much time to think about how they're feeling --- its like buying a thermometer and taking your temperature every few minutes.
And you've achieved another great point of wisdom in recognizing that with 3 kids ( heck, you don't even need 3 kids for this effect ) things will get chaotic at times. beating them isn't a good idea, and joining hem ? Maybe not the running round screaming and fighting, there's enough of that already. But yes, let it flow over you. Don't try and blame yourself for not organizing the unorganizable. That's like blaming yourself for not having brought peace to the Middle East.
Hope the therapy will prove useful. Maybe you should suggest for discussion this worry about the lack of healthy arguments, and fear of a blow-out. I think couples ought to be taught the art of productive arguments. And that could help with the "permission" thing, too, to clarify what you actually expect of each otherin this regard.
And yes, imagine how boring life would be without issues !
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