Posted by: Wame | 2007/02/12

Helper - Acts like my mother

I have a new helper who is more or less same age with my mother, my concern is she likes to act as if she is my mother, she now tells me what to wear and what not to wear (comments on my clothes every morning), to my hubby she now act like mother in law.(I got her through my mother anyway) I mean lately, I must be scared to consume alcohol in front of her, in my house and she must understand her position/stand in the house. I feel like I stay with my parent now. I really do not like this, I need to tell her but not sure how to phrase it the right way. I really don't want to lose her for wrong reasons cause she is good with my child, to me she is God send after I've changed helpers more that 3 times and can't really face to deal with a new one again. Any suggestions on this matter will help.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It can be quite prolem enough to deal with an interfering mom or mom-in-law, without having someone take that role and expect to get paid for it ! Just speak to her calmly, and make it clear that you already have a mother and a mother-in-law, and that you don't welcome her advice unless you specifically ask for it, as you are now adult enough to make your own decisions in the world. But thank her for being so concerned, and praise how well she does all the things you DO want her to keep on doing

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Our users say:
Posted by: J | 2007/02/12

I have been through that once. I realised afterwards that I gave her that platform. So, think and find out what is it that you said or did that made her assume the "parent" figure in your house. There are certain things you could have discussed with her that put her in the "i have authority" position. Maybe you once asked for advice or complained about something to her. Gudluk!

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