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Question
Posted by: JZ | 2004/01/27

Help re; leaving my husband

Last nite my husb comes in at 11:30PM , honks the hooter so loud as if I did not hear him – and then I knew something is going to happen. He shouts and swears at me, and wanted 2 hit me, bcoz I did not wish him for his b/day. Well that was one of the reasons.
Yes I remembered it, but I was still angry at him bcoz on Saturday he went to buy dog food, and only came on Sunday evening past nine. He never called 2 say he’ll b late/won’t b home; never called the following day 2 say he is ok, he will b home later – instead strolls in and expect the children and me to jump up and greet him! He knows I won’t ask questions, and he never apologised or made up a story on why he did not come home. I would like 2 know what do I do. I have made up my mind that today is the day that I leave him. I know I should go to the police, but if he has not hit me, will they still help me? I really want 2 get out 2day! Please help me.
Thank you.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

JZ, the police might not choose to get involved because, althoug he may have been unreasonably nasty, he seems not to have been violent towards you or to have threatened violence. Could you go and stay with your family for a while ? Clearly, he has a lot of explanations owing to youm ( spending 2 days celebrating his birthday at a dogfood shop ? )
If he threatens any form of violence, report this to the police ( from your family's home ) and consider getting a restraining order from the courts. Nina seems to have the right ideas about how to go about this.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: lady nina | 2004/01/27

hi there

do you have a safe place to go to?
first get a restraining order from the courts - deliver a copy to your local police station and put their tel on your cell ( speed dial) also tell the kids what to do if something goes wrong eg. run to a friend or hide somewhere safe
their will serve him with a summons at work - he will be very very upset and will want to get back at you - best you take leave for a few days so he can cool down - if that is possible

go speak to the school and explain the problems - keep the kids out of school for a few days and in the restraining order forbit him to collect the kids from school

even after taking all this messures there is still no gaurentee that thing will not get ugly - this is a price you must be willing to pay and take in account -

even after 3 years of separation he still has the ability to freak me and the kids out - just knowing he will be close by makes me feel uneasy - yet he is not so bad but because of all these bad experiences we just can't let down the guard - the damage has been done

if possible move to another town and start your life over, he will always be a part of your live

keep us posted !

nina

Reply to lady nina
Posted by: same | 2004/01/27

.... and even if you do ask questions about his wherabouts he will probably lie to you! I know how you feel, been there! I have no advice to you, but If you think you want out, so be it! Maybe it will give him one big fright..... and then take it from there.

Reply to same
Posted by: Cleo | 2004/01/27

Where do you live? I want to give you a telephone number where you can get help/advice etc on this.

Reply to Cleo

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