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Question
Posted by: Gina | 2006/04/19

Help please: should I stay or should I go

Dear Everyone

I am 28, professional, together in most ways and have some wonderful friends. I have been seeing a guy for about 8 months now and feel like we are constantly playing a dance...me the pursuer(pushing for emotional closeness) and he distancing when things in his life are difficult(which they normally always are - financially and professionally)
We have spoken about things and he always insists that he wants to make me happy. He is going through a hard time(I respect that), but often feel that he is emotionally stonewalling me and I cannot get through to him. He says the he "does not get me emotionally and that he often does not feel the things I say"
I care deeply for him, and am willing to work through what is goingon with us, but I am so scared that I am wasting my time... Do I back off for a bit, give him some time, or do I continue to work on myself and this relationship? Help!

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Our expert says:
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Is it possible to negotiate some sort of mutually supportive friendship with him, rather than any closer relationship ? an you encourage him to get some counselling help to sort things out ?

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