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Question
Posted by: blame | 2004/12/09

help please (if you can doc)

I start I leave I start I leave, my body feels so fat 1 day n thin the other, Im 19 male, 1.6m weighing 85kgs, i know im fat, I try so hard but everytime sumthing bad happens i stop and eat, i eat for attention i guess but no one hears me and then i eat more. Dr phil said you need support from your family and I dont get it. Fitness Doc I dunno if you could help me, I want to be thin please help and offer some words of advice. Im thinking of killing myself coz i cant loose weight!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageFitnessDoc

Hi Blame

Thanks for your question, I'm really glad that you are reaching out, and calling for help. what I can try to share with you is some encouragement and some advice on the exercise, and I really hope that it can motivate you to take up this challenge in your life.

The first thing that I have to say is that nothing is worth ending your life over, and I can sense your frustration from your question, but I just want to encourage you to realise that no matter how bad it may seem, and how tough things are, they can be made better. Especially with exercise - the beautiful thing about exercise is that it is a challenge that you can overcome, and when you do, it's one of the greatest things because you can look back and see how far you have progressed and you can be proud of your achievements. I really don't want you to miss out on that because of your frustrations. The problem, however, is that you can only do this after the time. In otherwords, it is the PROCESS that is important, not the RESULT, and one day you can look back and see what you have done, but you must not get too far ahead of yourself because that is why you have these frustrations.

I want to give you a goal - you have 21 days left in December. Why don't you set yourself a goal of being able to walk 30 minutes by the end of the month? You can do this, and most importantly, it gives you the power to take control of your progress. I want to go back to the whole thing that you raise about why you start then leave. Why do you think that is? Maybe you start off with expectations that you soon find you are not meeting. Maybe you try so hard in the first few days that you push yourself into wanting to stop. I don't know, but I really think that you must think about this and identify what it is that is causing this. I think that accurate goal setting is very important. If you have the right goal, then you give yourself a chance of success. You can do this, you just have to be patient!

Now, the other thing that you mentioned is your eating for attention. It's really important that you treat the cause of the problem and not the symptom. In otherwords, it's not the eating that I think is more important, it's the call for attention. People do all sorts of things to call out, and yours is eating. But, I really want to encourage you to share this with someone directly - people don't always understand or see what it is you are feeling. Even close friends and family can miss these things, and unless you talk to someone about it, it will not work. So, what I want to encourage you to do is to seek out someone who you can talk to. Maybe a friend, colleague, someone you know from a social group. Someone out there is willing to listen, if you ask for help. People will care about you, and you know what might work? Ask this person if they will be interested in spending time with you while you exercise - that way, you have a friend who is there when you have bad patches, when the exercise feels like it's starting to go badly, and then they can motivate you through it. You will do the same for them, because everyone goes through stages of feeling down and not enjoying exercise, and if you can find some people who will share exercise with you then you carry each other. This is something I really encourage you to try.

Finally, it really worries me that you are talking about suicide - please find help and someone professional to talk to. Whether it is a psychologist, or a counsellor, I really want to encourage you seek help with this and then take it small step at a time, because you can beat this!

Please let me know if there is anything else, exercise related or not, that I can help with

Good luck

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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